Gems in Dark Places

I have been reading Job 28 recently. In this ancient explanation of mining techniques - possibly pre-Abramic - there is one clear message. Precious things come from dark places. "There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore... sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold." None of the animals place any value on these things, or has any idea of the potential beneath their feet. Only man - made in the image of a creator God - sees the potential and has the will and the means to excavate it.

How does this affect me? Well, I am in a dark place at the moment. After high hopes that the dreadful pancreatic pain may finally have been defeated my old enemy is back. I enjoyed 10 weeks of freedom following the celiac plexus block of early April, but now the effects of that have worn off, and I am in need of opiates again. The word 'disappointment' may be long enough, but it's not deep enough to express my feelings.

But then - God's not finished with me yet. Nor with you. Our final chapter has not been written. And out of the dark places real gems can come. Diamonds are formed under immense pressure. They only exist where conditions are dark are hostile. Their beauty comes at a price, both for them and for the one who mines them. Those of you who know your Bibles know all this already. But when I feel discouraged, I like to remind myself of this great truth. God's promises do not depend on our feelings. "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but it appears that the Almighty has an interest in them too.

Don't Write Off the Disappointed

She waved her arms enthusiastically in the air. Well, who could blame her? The healing evangelist had just called out her painful condition in front of nearly 2,000 people. He had said that there was a woman present with painful osteo arthritis affecting her knees and other joints and that God was going to heal her. This use of the charisma called 'a word of knowledge' (see 1 Corinthians 12:8) is common in the healing revivals going on around the world at the moment, and especially in America. When it happens, the sufferer must surely conclude that their moment has come. God is calling them out - He must be going to heal them!

We were standing right behind her in Bill Johnson's wonderful church in Redding, California. When Bill prayed for her she went down on the floor with a thump and stayed there for a good time. When she got up the meeting went on, but those who had been prayed for were encouraged to do something that they couldn't do before. This lady tried to flex her sore knees, and nearly stumbled once more to the floor. She struggled in obvious disappointment back to her seat. Later, when Bill asked 'who has been healed tonight?' many hands went up, but not hers.

As a pastor and a fellow sufferer of chronic pain I felt very keenly for her. I praise God for the many healings taking place right now, but I want to urge people not to neglect the need of the disappointed. We need a theology of suffering alongside our theology of healing.

• It will bring balance to our prayers and our comments
• It will assure the disappointed that they still matter to God and to us
• It will hold them in God's love while they wait for God's power

So, what was happening that night? Was God calling this lady out? What for if not for healing? Well, I suppose that in such a big crowd there may have been others who fitted the description given. It may not have been her time for healing, but it may well have been a test of her responsiveness and obedience to God. It may just have been a well-intentioned mistake. What it did do was make me determined not to neglect the disappointed in my ministry. I want to find ways of reaching out to them and to continue standing with them while they wait for God. After all, in this as in other aspects of the Christian life, whilst we may be disappointed in a ministry or a meeting or a man, Jesus should not be a disappointment. I have found that He is not, and even in the heat of the battle with pain, I have proved Him to be faithful and true.

Belgian Waffles

What an absolute delight! Crunchy sweet Belgian waffles with syrup. Yum yum! Deadly but delicious. Mind you - my diet means that I could only sample one or two during my visit to Antwerp last weekend, but that was a joy. 'More Lord!' Hee hee.

The sweetness of the waffles was only matched by the fellowship I enjoyed with some wonderful people. Leo and Hazel, the pastor and his wife, are the most precious servants of God you could hope to meet. Real and loving, gentle yet determined, they have led the church through a difficult year or so. The work of the Evangelical churches in Belgium is not easy - partly due to the remnant of Catholicism in the culture, but also to the spread of secularism and materialism - but the congregation at the Philadelphia church in Antwerp is large and thriving.

I had the privilege of spending time with the leaders and also with the church. I was deeply moved by some of the great needs among the people, who are choosing to trust God in spite of their pain and disappointment. They are an example of their New Testament namesake, the Philadelphia church in Revelation 3. Jesus said of them that they had kept his commands and endured patiently. I feel that a great future is before this church, just like the 'open door' of Rev 3:8. Pray for them and for all who serve God in the challenging spiritual atmosphere of modern Belgium.

God zegene U!

Fresh Fire in Florida?

Since returning from California two weeks ago I have been watching the events taking place at Lakeland Florida under the leadership of Todd Bentley. This is being televised nightly on the GOD channel via both satellite and the internet (http://www.god.tv/). Whilst I share the concerns of some who have been put off by certain aspects of the revival, it does seem to me that this is a genuine expression of the outpouring of God's Holy Spirit, and the emphasis is on healing and the manifest presence of God (they refer to it as 'the Glory'). One pastor friend of mine in Northern Ireland took his leadership team to the meetings.

'The place was immediately filled with an awesome sense of the presence of God as a team of young men began to dance to a worship song. The leader explained that the team (dancers and singers) was made up of young people whose lives had been messed because of drugs and rape etc. We then went into a time of worship that I would defy anyone to even suggest was not of God! It was truly amazing as we worshipped a truly amazing God.'

My visit to Bethel Church in Redding, California, served by Bill Johnson as Pastor, showed me the same phenomenon in a different setting. There, the revival has become systemic and is rooted in the local church. 'Seldom a week goes by' said Bill ' when we don't see at least one hundred miracles in this church'. There I could see the final outworking of what is going on in the Lakeland arena and being taken, it seems, by visitors back to churches around the globe. Local churches burning with revival fire - all of God's people full of passion for Jesus - many getting healed and saved on a regular basis - missionary teams going out from these centres with mercy missions empowered by the Spirit and God's love - the supernatural as a part of the normal Christian life.

So, I cringe at some of the things I see in Lakeland, but I refuse to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I choose instead to remember:

• that Todd's obvious shortcomings are a real reminder that he is not God
• that I am not his judge (neither am I God!)
• that television is a very poor medium for communicating spiritual experiences, being focussed on the carnal and the outward
• that I long for the presence of God however disturbing or different that may be.

As my Irish Pastor friend put it, 'As a Leadership Team we are all in total agreement that our visit to Lakeland was an awesome Spirit filled experience. It made me feel that it was better being inside the Upper Room than standing outside.' I am sure that he's right, so I pray for 'More Lord!' 'More fire, more power, more healings, more glory'!

Everything's Bigger in California!

My recent silence on this site has been due to our wonderful two week visit to California! What amazing people and what a fantastic place. We have always been a bit dubious of Hollywood glitz and the image of America that it casts, but this trip has changed all that. We were enchanted by the welcome and hospitality we received, and awed by the mountain views and the natural splendour of northern California. And yes, everything does seem so much bigger there - from beefsteak to bras and from watermelons to wildernesses.

We spent the second week mostly up the mountain around Mt Shasta. At 14,000 feet, one of the high peaks of the USA and a fabulous view. The lakes and valleys of that area, together with the clean air and majestic waterfalls, make it a place probably second only to Switzerland for beauty and charm. Here it was a little cooler than in nearby Redding, where the temperatures were in the 90's F and are now well over 100.

The highlight of our time there were the two weekends we spent with Bethel church, Redding, where Bill Johnson is the pastor, and where a healing revival is taking place. There was a dynamic sense of the presence of God and definite healing miracles taking place including cancers and open wounds being healed. I received powerful prayer in their 'healing rooms' and am looking forward to seeing the outcome in my own precarious health situation.

So - things are big in the US of A - but their God is still my God, and their Bible is in my hands. The size of our bras - or our mountains - may not be as great, but Jesus said that if you have faith as small as a grain of mustard seed you can actually move mountains. So I am not discouraged, just grateful and blessed.

Election Fever

On April 23rd the good citizens of Guernsey go to the polls to elect their new government. The general election takes place every four years and each candidate stands as an indepenedent, there being no political parties. Election fever is all around us now, with hustings and manifestos making bold promises and grand statements, so different from the record of achievement during the last administration. It is a bit of a big yawn, really, but it has to be done.

Sadly, in this election the turnout will not be high. I say sadly because the privilege of casting your vote is one that was dearly won by our predecessors. In Britain women chained themselves to lamposts and threw themselves under racehorses, just to win the right to vote. Elsewhere in the world the ballot box has only just replaced the bullet as the way of deciding political outcomes. The turnout in Iraqi elections was nothing hort of staggering given the amount of danger and intimidation.

So, I shall cast my vote and believe that I am making a difference - and even if not I will be honouring those who have paid the price. And speaking of paying the price - I am really praying that in another so-called election, Mugabe will go!

Now that would cure any election fever!

The Gift of Pain

London was crazy! Every time we go there (and there have been a lot of times in the last four years) we come away amazed at the stress it must put on its inhabitants. Never are we more grateful to arrive back in Guernsey than we are when we have been in Central London for medical treatment. But things went well, and London is where the expertise is, so that's where we go for help.

My battle now is to overcome exhaustion and other symptoms of pancreatitis but that will be so much easier without the dreadful pain, at least for the next while. While we pray for the procedure to keep working for as long as possible, what we really long for, of course, is the healing and eradication of the underlying disease. We know God can do this, and we await His touch and timing.

In a sense there is another lesson here. Extreme pain can become your whole focus, making it diffiult to pray, to write and to even think straight. Yet the pain itself is only a symptom. Sometimes it is a very important signal that all is not well within. Leprosy sufferers lose their fingers and toes because they have no nerve endings in them to warn them of the danger caused by heat or injury. Pain can be a gift - though one that I certainly don't enjoy!

If your life is marked by pain, physical, mental, emotional, or family pain, try to look beyond it and see what God is saying about underlying issues like your relationship with Him and His love for you. I have written more about this in my book Braving the Storm, and will come to it again in the follow-up Storm Force due out later this year or early next. This is not an easy process, and one which cannot be achieved alone. But let's try to look beyond our pain and address the issues that lie within.

We may be able to see pain as a gift then. Maybe!

Relief on the Horizon

Apparently the joy of banging your head against a brick wall is the relief it gives you when you stop! Relief can be exquisite and I am really praying for some. I will travel next week to the University College Hospital in London where the doctors will perform a celiac plexus block in an attempt to give me some relief from pancreatic pain. I am looking forward to it with great anticipation, as you can imagine.



My relief, however, will be as nothing compared to the great sigh of relief that would go up from millions of Zimbabweans if Mr Mugabe should actually stand down this week. After 28 years of misrule he has finally reduced his country to ruin. Despite the riches of the goldmines and the millions of acres of lush arable land that now stand idle, Zimbabwe has been transformed from being the bread basket of Southern Africa to being its begging bowl. We pray for relief for that land and for its people. It will take generations to undo the damage that he and his cronies have done.



I can only speak for the Shona people, never having worked among the Matabele (though they have suffered even more under Mr Mugabe who is a Shona). They are a wonderfully warm and kind people, well-mannered and not easily provoked, who deserve so much better than the rulers they have had in the past. We must pray that the new government, if it is gven a chance, will show a new face in African politics and turn away from the choking stench of corruption and hypocrisy that has sullied the leadership so far.



Now that would be a relief.

Tears of Pain

This has been a particularly painful Easter for me. The pain of chronic pancreatitis can be beyond description - it has been likened to that of a heart attack but it keeps on going. I have known relief since having a celiac plexus block performed at University College hospital in London last September. The slow release deposit of local anaesthetic combined with steroids gave me three months of pain relief. Then in January it was done again, but was not quite so effective this time. It lasted for just 7 weeks, and so I am back on a drug called Fentanyl - reputed to be 80 to 100 times stronger than morphine!

Thankfully I now have a date to go into the UCL hospital (for the day) and have another one done, Tuesday April 8th. We are praying that this one will be at least as effective as the first, and perhaps even longer lasting.

I'm not ashamed to confess that this pain sometimes reduces me to tears - even if they are hidden and secret at the time. I was encouraged to discover yesterday that we humans are unique among the animals for the fact that we cry! Apparently, no other 'animal' (I don't feel like an animal even if I behave like it sometimes - and God's Word doesn't call me one) has the ability to shed tears like we do. This fact, like speech, walking on the moon and asking questions, are the marks of the Divine image in us and set us apart from the rest of creation.

Speaking of questions - I find it so comforting to recall that in the Easter story God's own Son cried out 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' He knows how I feel, and has sampled the salty taste of his own tears mixed with his own incredible pain. If my tears make me unique among creation, his understanding and death in my place make him unique among the 'gods'.

God gave you those tear ducts. Don't be ashamed to use them.

A Cry for Help

Two of the gospels tell of a moment that took place as Jesus enterred Gethsemane on the evening before his crucifiction. In both of them Jesus said "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, stay here and keep watch." At which, he went off to sweat blood alone and they promptly went to sleep.

Jesus was calling out for help. 'I feel like death' may be one way of looking at it, but 'I am so depressed I might die' may be closer. He was the son of God, fully divine, yet also fully human. His humanity was at an end of its resources. He needed company - someone just to stay up and watch out for him while he agonised over the issues he was facing.

I wonder if any of the 17 teenagers who have killed themselves in the last few weeks in Bridgend, South Wales, had approached anyone with the information that they felt so down? Is it possible that the Chief Constable of Manchester who is alleged to have taken his own life on a bleak mountainside last week actually gave out enough hints that others should have read the signals? Maybe they did.

And are there any 'Gethsemane people' who are at the end of their resources around me? I suspect that there are. The terifying thought is that I may be too dull, or too tired to recognise their cry for help. While I snooze they bleed. While they pound their fists on a rock and heave with great sighs of sadness, I snore with self-contented ease.

Of course, the disciples didn't realise what was going on. You can't blame them. It was late and they had travelled a long way and were very tired. But they failed to read the signals and missed the most profound moment in the life of Christ and possibly the history of the world.

'Lord, please forgive me for ignoring other peoples' cries for help. And also for missing your own. I was asleep when you nudged me to pray the other day, and missed the moment. I was tired when that lady phoned and so was correct but curt with her - she was hurting, and actually it was you on the line ('for as much as you do it unto the least of these...'). When I could have got out to serve you I dozed, and now I know that you needed me to be there. Thank you Lord for your mercy, forgiveness and grace'. Amen.

Have a good Easter weekend.

Child Safety Issues

The list of child safety stories in the media is huge. Haut de la Garenne in Jersey, where the possible remains of a dead child have been found (speculation is that it may be a fragemnt of a child's skull), child abuse cases in the courts in these normally peaceful Channel Islands, the missing Madelaine McCann along with the thousands of little children that disappear in Europe every year, and now the mysterious case of Shannon Matthews in Yorkshire.

One of the remarkable facts to emerge from the case of Shannon Matthews, who was abducted on her way home from school and held captive for 24 days before police broke down the door of the apartment where she was being held, is the time it took to locate her only a mile away from her home. The police, who mounted the second biggest manhunt in the history of their force to try and find her, pointed out that one of the reasons for the delay was the size of her extended family and the fact of there being over 1,300 registered sex offenders within a 30 mile radius! Of those, more than 300 were known to be paedophiles, and these are only the registered ones.

Has the world gone mad? How did so many men - and it is usually men - trade their dignity and peace of mind in order to violate innocent children? Is it the modern phenomenon of the Internet that is to blame? Or television? Well, they will have made things worse, that's for sure, but the sin of child abuse is as old as man himself. Child labour and child prostitution have been twin ills of society from long before technology took its recent giant strides.

Jesus spoke about the issue two thousand years ago. He warned that those who sin against little ones will face a court of justice much more fearful than any human judicial system. 'But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.' So it was a problem even in his day too.

Can any more be done? Only the spread of the gospel of Jesus Christ one by one to as many individuals as possible so that sinful hearts can be changed and cleansed. Also, we need to pray over our children daily, and when in prayer for our communities pray for childrens' agencies and the police to have success in their fight against this evil. In spiritual warfare terms, we must see this as an attack upon a section of our population least able to defend themselves and closest to the heavenly Father's heart. It comes from the pit and bears the fingerprints of Satan.

For that reason, if no other, we pray, 'Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!'

Amazing Race

What wonderful people the Poles are! They get a bad press in the UK these days because of immigration issues, but it is such a privilege to visit them and see them in their own setting. Warm-hearted and hospitable, they welcomed us with open arms. We were able to preach in large public meetings, teach small groups of leaders and visit some very precious (but quite poor) people. The spiritual need amongst the Poles is great - there is a lot of religion about (mostly Roman Catholic) but not much evidence of New Testament life and power. In the city of Elblag there are around 150,000 people and this is the only Pentecostal church - about 200 members.

This is team member Colin Rabey (left) speaking to the church at Eblag in north eastern Poland on Saturday 1st March 2008. The interpreter is David Kantorek, oldest son of the pastor and our good friend Witold. Colin was a great asset to the team, providing Diane and I with vital carrying power, prayer support and reassuring company as we made this ministry trip. Colin had been before, and it just gave us such a boost to have his strong, quiet presence with us.

An abiding memory that I have from my four visits to Poland now are of strong, persevering faith among the people. They have suffered greatly as a nation, yet have an inspiring passion for God. Certainly if God is sending large numbers of Polish immigrants to our country we should welcome the opportunity for fellowship and evangelism amongst family-orientated, hard working people.

So, thanks for your interest and prayers. If you would like to see a few more photos of our trip, you can view them when you visit http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/EricGaudion.

Poland - Here we Come!

This is the church in Elblag, Poland where we will be travelling this week to share God's Word with the folk there at the weekend. The Pastor is called Witold Kantorek and in the picture he is standing in front of the beautiful church building they have built in that town. We will fly from Guernsey to London Gatwick, and then direct to Gdansk where Witold will meet us with his car.

There are hundreds of thousands of Polish people coming to the UK and other parts of the EU since the once Communist country joined the Union last year. The links between our two nations have probably never been stronger since the Second World War. The Poles are a strongly religious nation (mainly Roman Catholic of course) and the Pentecostal and Evangelical churches are growing there too.

The great thing about mission is that it is a two-way street. For years we have been sending teams with relief supplies to Poland and now the tide is turning. Polish people are revitalising the Catholic church in the UK and I hope that a similar effect will be seen in the Protestant sector too. I will be speaking to Witold about the large number of Poles in Jersey and the UK and seeking ways that we can evangelise them.

So, it's off to Poland we go, in search of fellowship, their renowned hospitality, and the opportunity to minister in Jesus' name. Please pray for us as Diane and I and Colin Rabey from Shiloh Church in Guernsey make the trip. I would be particularly grateful for your prayers for my health as we set off on this journey north and eastwards.

Djin Kuje (Thankyou in Polski)

Life in the Fast Lane

Time to slow down! It is amazing that major road accidents could happen in an environment where the over-all speed limit is 35 miles per hour - but they do. Just last weekend a young driver in Guernsey had to be cut out of his Volkswagen Golf with two broken legs after a horrendous pile-up, and two more young people were seriously injured when their vehicle hit a granite wall. In both cases it seems likely that speed was a factor, even if not the main one or the only one.

Where were they going anyway? The islands maze of roads only really go round and round, and if they had taken more time they might have avoided the danger of being dead on arrival. Speed just seems part of our culture. We rush about and dash around like mad things, just to squeeaze out another few seconds from the day.

And that's the daft thing, of course, because it doesn't matter who you are, none of us can eek out more than 168 hours in any one week. That's your lot, rich or poor! So - let's slow down and enjoy the ride. Let's take in the view, and notice the little things. Let's be grateful for the privilege of time anyway, and spend it with care. After all, when it's gone, it's gone!

Flickering Flames

I came across a remarkable verse or two in Isaiah 50 this morning. It took my breath away. Standing in front of the mirror of God's Word I felt exposed and vulnerable. I decided to do something about it. I want to be a doer and not only a hearer of what God says. Here's what it says:

'Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.'

What really bothered me about the passage (Is 50:9-10) was when I read again in the Amplified Version:

'Who is among you who fears the Lord, who obeys the voice of His Servant, yet who walks in darkness and deep trouble and has no shining splendour ? Let him rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord, and let him lean upon and be supported by his God. Behold, all you who attempt to kindle your own fires , who surround and gird yourselves with momentary sparks, darts, and firebrands that you set aflame!—walk by the light of your self-made fire and of the sparks that you have kindled ! But this shall you have from My hand: you shall lie down in grief and in torment.'

I saw the light! My own 'self-made fires' are just so inadequate to light up my path. In the darkness of my current situation - and it is very dark - the advice from God's Word is to 'rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord'. Now that's quite a challenge. I am guilty of lighting my own lamps and setting my own torches in place all the time, and they simply will not do. I need to exchange my flickering flames for the blaze of His words if I going to find out His ways. And I don't want to 'lie down in grief and torment' either - I've had quite enough of that already thank you very much.

So, you guessed it. I've made up my mind once again to go God's way and to wait for Him not to try and organise my own future. And with that - I sent off a few emails!

Dangerous Ground.

The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has started a bushfire of outrage and criticism in British political circles with his call on BBC Radio 4 for Muslim Sharia law to be accepted alongside British law in the UK. Dr Williams said the UK had to "face up to the fact" some citizens did not relate to the British legal system. He said adopting parts of Islamic Sharia law could help social cohesion. For example, Muslims could choose to have marital disputes or financial matters dealt with in a Sharia court.

It is understandable that a major leader of Britain's Christian community would want to find ways of building bridges of understanding and tolerance with its increasing number of Muslim neighbours. It also makes sense for an archbishop to be concerned about the place of religious 'conscientious objection' in a secular legal setting that is legislating for areas such as abortion, human fertilisation and sexual equality. What is not acceptable is for a Christian leader to fail to acknowledge certain facts that are pertinent to the life of the wider church in areas where Sharia law is already practised. In parts of Nigeria, for instance, and other places in sub-Saharan Africa, Christians find themselves in real difficulties because of the spread of Sharia law. Under it, the rights of non-Muslims to give evidence against Muslims are discounted, as are the equal rights of women under the law, both Muslim and Christian. In similar ways to Old Testament practices, the evidence of a woman is not admissable in court, except where it is corroborated by a man, or in some cases by another woman.

Basically, the problem is that the imposition of Sharia law in those parts of the world is seen as part of the dominance by Islam of its surrounding culture. It is a refelction of the desire of some Muslims to extend the 'caliphate' or rule of Islam across the earth. Not content with dealing with matrimonial issues and matters of the family and inheritance, exponents of Sharia law would want to see it expand to encompass all of life as part of their conviction that the whole world needs the teachings of Islam. The Archbishop of Canterbury speaks for the Church of England in part of the UK, but he also has a role as a titular head of the Anglican communion which is being sorely affected by the practise of Sharia in many places overseas.

It is also a mistake for the Archbishop to presume that the practise of Sharia law is an evolving and increasingly enlightened affair, such as some might regard the development of Christian theology and ethics. There may be one or two educated Islamic jurists who argue for modernisation and mercy, but Sharia law is basically a system of regulation, similar in style and content to the Old Testament, and rigid in its interpretation and penalties. The European court of human rights has declared it to be incompatible with democracy.

All three British political parties have spoken out against Dr William's opinions, whilst acknowledging his right to hold and express them. What we as Christian must beware of is forgetting our brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering for their faith in many Islamic countries around the world and who may feel betrayed by the position taken by this Western church leader. We also need to pray for him in his vital position of leadership, and for them as they struggle for the faith against such violent and oppressive opposition. We should also pray that the liberties we enjoy in this country to celebrate and proclaim our faith will be protected, from militant secularism on the one hand, and the spread of fundamentalist Islam on the other.

Take care, Dr Williams, you are treading on dangerous ground.

Pearls of Great Price

I visited some friends in Guernsey not long ago who had been out fishing for ormers. Now these shell-fish, molluscs, are related to the abilones that are found in Australia and South Africa. In Guernsey hardy individuals wade out into freezing sea-water at low tide six times a year to turn huge rocks over and search for these highly prized gastronomic delicacies. My wife and I really love them. Once the shell is removed, you beat them with a hammer on a stone pavement so as to make them softer to eat, and then bake them slowly in the oven with butter, tomatoes, onions and herbs. Yum yum! Well our friends had taken pity on us because I am not well enough to go ormering by myself and they had kept six of these fabulous molluscs back for us to enjoy. Amazingly, when they were cleaning them and removing the shells, a beautiful pearl fell out of one them, which they eagerly held up for me to admire. They planned to mount this very rare example on silver and give it to their tiny grand-daughter to keep.

Pearls are mentioned in the Bible. Twelve gates to the city and each one of them made from a pearl. That’s what John saw in the Revelation 21:21 as he gazed by faith and by special invitation of the Lord at the eternal city that is to come. In other words, symbolically every entrance into the life of the heavenly city will be through a pearl. Now what is a pearl? Well basically it is a healed wound. When oysters are bred for pearls, a wound is made in the shell, and then a tiny grain of sand inserted. The irritant settles into the wound and then all the healing resources of this remarkable creature set to work and surround the intruder. As the layers build up over time, the grain of sand becomes a pearl, an object of exquisite beauty and value. Yet no wound, no pearl!

So God does not waste our wounds and neither should we. My irritants can become his pearls.

Don't Worry!

This has been a worrying week for anyone involved in the stock market! New lows have been recorded in markets around the globe following the wobbles caused by the so-called 'credit-crunch' and the American sub-prime mortgage crisis. I suppose a lot of people are affected, especially if they are saving for a pension or have savings and investments. For those who work in the industry it must be a challenging time. Then - along came the French 'rogue trader' - robbing the huge SG Bank of 3.5 billion pounds worth of 'futures' (a kind of global stock market 'betting on the gee-gees' scheme) just to make the point that the whole world of finance is only a fictional kind of security anyway. To emphasise that point, consider the words of Jesus:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)

So where is my treasure? What do I really value? What am I prepared to give up in order to posess this? Jesus gives the answer again doesn't He? '..store up for yourselves treasures in heaven'.

What does that mean? Well it means committing our 'futures' to Him. It also means letting go of our over-depenedance on earthly posessions. We need to grow in our confidence in a heavenly Father who knows how to provide for His own. In short - it means we need to quit worrying and trust more! Now that's a challenge in any situation - but in a falling market????

A Miracle Indeed

'A miracle' is how one national newspaper in the UK described the crash of a British Airways Boeing 777 at Heathrow airport this week. 136 passengers and 16 crew walked away alive from the wreckage, and only a small number needed hospital treatment for minor injuries. When we view images of how close the aircraft came to plunging into nearby housing or onto a busy highway we are forced to agree with that description, even if it does come from the words of a cynical secular newspaper more used to mocking so called 'acts of God' and dismissing talk of miracles.

One aspect of the story is that in a news conference today the captain, Captain Burkhill, paid tribute to his crew. He said Senior First Officer John Coward had done a "most remarkable job" in landing the aircraft. He also praised all the crew for showing "the highest standards of skill and professionalism". "Flying is about teamwork and we had an outstanding team on board," he said. Clearly however outstanding that crew might have been - and definitely was - it would have been powerless if the circumstances had been different and the aircraft had dropped onto houses or buildings.

But it's not just flying that is about teamwork. Life is too. We need one another, and never more so than when the chips are down and we are sinking fast. We need the encouragement that others bring, and the occasional corrective rebuke too. We each need to be aware of our own unique contribution and make it to the best of our nability, but when things get rough there is something about sharing with others that makes teamwork so important. Mind you, every team, however good it is, needs a helping hand from above sometimes. Captain Burkill's team certainly had theirs, and I pray that you will have yours too.

Rejoicing in all Circumstances.

'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade— kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.' (1 Peter 1:3-6)

Rejoicing can be a tough call. Nowhere in the Bible are God's people promised an easy ride. Again and again the model shown is one of choosing to rejoice no matter how rough the ride gets - David encourages his soul by worship while hiding for his life in a cave, Paul and Silas sing praises at midnight with bleeding backs in a rat-infested dungeon, John is 'in the Spirit' as he breaks rocks in a prison work party - and so on. In fact, when the pain is greatest and the stress is stretching us the most, that's when our small acts of thankfulness and rejoicing are the most meaningful.

The phrase 'a little while' is a poignant one for me. Years ago I felt that God spoke to me and promised that after I have suffered 'a little while' then He himself will step in and heal me (see 1 Peter 5:10). I am finding that God's idea of a little while and mine are very different. So I thought I might revisit a sermon that I preached on the subject of 'God's Little While' a little while ago! Here is the outline of what I said:

In John 16 Jesus used the phrase “a little while” 7 times. He was referring to the 3 days and nights He would be in the grave before the resurrection. In Ezekiel 11:16 the phrase means 70 years! So it appears that a little while in God’s economy may not be to with a quantity of time, but rather a quality.

What are the Marks of God’s Little While?
· A Time When God is at Work no Matter How Dark it Appears. This was true of the dark days when Jesus was in the tomb and the years that Israel was in exile. God was working out His purposes. When we submit to God’s timetable, He is at work.
· A Time When God is Looking After His People. In Ezekiel’s day God said He was being a “sanctuary for His people”, even tho’ their own sin had led them there.
· A Time that Ends Only When God Determines. It only ends when He says it is over, but we can be absolutely sure it will end. This will come to pass.

Why Does God Allow the Little While of Our Trials to Occur?
1. To Fulfil His Divine Will and Plan. The little while that Jesus spoke about was God’s plan of redemption (like the nearly 20 years Joseph spent in the Egyptian jail). So it was with the 70 years little while of Ezekiel’s day.
2. To Bring Something Unique to Birth. John 16:21-22. There are times in life that are like a pregnancy.. the pain leads on to something new and good. Just as a pregnancy can seem like forever, so a little while can really drag, but God knows what new era will be born in our lives because we trusted Him.
3. That our Joy May be Complete. John 16:22b & 24. Like James 1:2, 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.' There is a depth of joy, not happiness, that can only be discovered in the place of suffering, where intimacy with God is the only comfort, trust in God the only hope.

How Do We Keep Going Until the Little While is Over?
Jesus gave His disciples keys to hanging in there in John 16.
1. The Work of the Holy Spirit Within. Verse 13-15. He guides, He counsels & comforts.
2. The Word of God Keeping us Alive. The Spirit of Truth uses the Bible to speak to us and lead us into all truth. Diane and I have lived in the Word during this little while.
3. The Fellowship of Other Disciples. Jesus addressed His words to a group of disciples not an individual. We need each other, especially in the little while’s of God’s dealings with us.
4. Utter Reality in the Meantime. Vs 20, “you will weep & mourn”.
5. The Power of Persistent Prayer. “Ask and you will receive..” verse 24.

I hope that you might find that short Bible study useful - I certainly did. Now - about that rejoicing??

A Painful Start to 2008

I knew it would not last very long. When I had a procedure known as an endoscopic ultrasound guided celiac plexus block done at the University College Hospital in London at the end of September they told me that those who respond to this treatment usually get up to three months relief from chronic pancreatic pain. It was wonderful to be pain free for those weeks, and to come off all the pain relieving medications, but just before Christmas I began to feel unwell again, and now I am back in the most awful pain. One of the drugs prescribed for this kind of pancreatic pain is Fentanyl which was recently described in the press as being between eighty and a hundred times stronger than morphine. So I have been in touch with the consultant in London and they will be in touch with me when they can fit me in for a repeat procedure.

Pain has a way of focussing the mind in upon itself. It screams for attention like a frustrated toddler in a supermarket queue. It distracts you from anything creative, anything effective, anything else at all really. When that is combined with the stupefying effects of opiates then it can be a real battle to remain aware of the needs of others, and of what God is saying in and through it all. But it is important to do so. 'Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.' (Phil. 4:8). If we choose to give in to screaming toddlers they catch the habit and turn mothers into victims. So also with pain. We need to fight it and resist it in every way, from prayer to paracetemols. But then we need to let go of it and turn our hearts towards anything that is excellent or praiseworthy. When we do that, we really are 'more than conquerors'.

If you are in pain today - and there are many forms of pain - then I pray that you will find courage to bear it, faith to look beyond it, and hope to know that it is not in vain, and will not last for ever. And may you also know the healing touch of Him who came to bear our sorrows and infirmities, and who is touched by the feelings of our pain. Now He is worthy of praise!

Tragedy in Pakistan

This is a tragic time for the nation of Pakistan following the appalling scenes of chaos and brutality yesterday in which Benazir Bhutto was assasinated. She was without doubt the symbol of moderate Islamic politics and whatever question-marks surround her previous administrations or her husband's record she did hold out the hope that extremists might be sidelined in the coming elections. Now she is dead and Pakistan is one step nearer to becoming a fanatical Islamist state posessing nuclear weapons.

I well remember my time visiting Pakistan and the impression made on me then by the people there. It is an amazingly busy place, with nearly three times the population of Great Britain and huge crowds of people jostling the cities and airports wherever you go. It is also dominated by mosques - some ancient some very recent - and the sound of the muezzin calling the faithful to prayer through his loudspeakers early in the morning is one of the abiding memories that I have. What we should not forget in all this political turmoil is the relatively large and growing number of Christians in that land. They meet in all the major cities and in quite a number of rural areas also. They are being persecuted for their faith, but are seeing the faithfulness of God to them as friends and neighbours are being won for the Lord. They need our prayers at this time.

In fact, in all the talk of Islamic extremism we should not lose sight of what God is doing amongst ordinary Muslim men and women. Large numbers of them are following Jesus and are delighting in the teachings of the injil (gospel). Whereas years ago, Muslim converts to Christianity were very rare, since 9/11 that is no longer the case. God is revealing Jesus to Muslims in their dreams. Christian radio like FEBA Radio and other media such as SAT 7 tv are reaching into previously closed lands. Muslim immigrants are coming to faith in the West and forming all ex-Muslim congregations of believers. Now is the time to pray for Muslims everywhere and to seek to befriend them whenever we can. Let them see that real Christianity is not the immoral materialistically bankrupt society they see on their cinema screens. Model before them what it means to follow the teachings of the prophet Jesus, and to walk in God's ways by God's grace. (If you want to know more about Islam you can purchase the download study guide that I have written called 'What Muslims Believe' from http://www.facingthechallenge.org/). Despite the tragedy in Pakistan God is on the march!

Happy Christmas!

When I visited the shepherd’s fields outside Bethlehem some years ago, I remember thinking what a very unlikely place it was for an angelic visitation. Despite all its fame it still remains a working area, where modern shepherds still keep small flocks of scrawny sheep and goats, and olive trees struggle through the dry earth to bring a crop that means a subsistence living for a poor Palestinian family. And it’s that ordinariness, that normality, which still speaks to me today of what God did at Christmas. He interrupted the ordinary, everyday lives of working people to place into their hands the Saviour of the world. And in a sense, that happens again this and every Christmas. Jesus comes into the midst of a busy, distracted working world, and asks us to pause and think for a moment about God’s amazing love. The shepherds were willing to do that, even to come and worship at the manger of which they had been told. Their lives would return to the ordinary, the routine, but they knew that now everything was different. Christ had come. Life had changed. God’s love had turned on their light.

‘And there were shepherds living out in the fields near by, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
11 Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." 13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests." 15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." 16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.

My most recent visit to Bethlehem was a very different kind of experience. Prior to the intifada – the uprising of Palestinian violence – we had been able to go right into the town and even into the church of the Nativity itself where it is believed traditionally that the manger was located. But on this next occasion we were not allowed to go right into the town of Bethlehem at all. We stopped at a hotel overlooking the area in the distance, and from there we could see helicopter gunships and distant plumes of smoke that may well have come from the battle that was then going on in the town. Today the little town of Bethlehem is behind the security wall that the Israeli government has built, and some of the Christians who are living there are finding it extremely hard to follow the Lord under pressure from the Muslims on one hand and the Jews on the other. It’s a pressure point, a place of conflict. Yet, that is where God chose to send His Son who would be called The Prince of Peace. Today the only hope for the Middle East, and for each one of us individually, is to ask Jesus Christ to come in and rule over our hearts as sovereign Lord, dealing with the problem of our sin as only He can, and giving us the benefit of His peace and joy. In the words of the ancient carol He was ‘born to raise the sons of earth, born to give us second birth’.

‘Lord, help us to open up our hearts to you this Christmas time, and whether our situation is ordinary or even boring and routine, or whether we are in conflict or under pressure, come into our lives and make the difference that only You can do. In the name of Jesus, Amen.’

Have a very happy Christmas.

So Privileged!

Some years ago we spent our Christmases in Zimbabwe, serving the people of that nation during a time of famine, drought and human deprivation. I will never forget one Christmas Eve when we were woken in the early hours of the morning by the cries of a young man who worked for us and whose newborn baby had died during the night. ‘Boss, boss,’ he cried ‘Come please help me. My children is dead’. I went with him to his tiny home and there saw his wife weeping and nursing the cold baby in her arms while her older child wailed alongside her. That Christmas Day we stood in line at the childrens’ cemetery outside the slum where thousands were pressed together in abject poverty, and we waited our turn to bury yet another infant who had not survived to see his first Christmas.

And so now, when people complain that Christmas in Guernsey is hard work, and a difficult time of the year, I am moved to remember the plight of my dear friends in Zimbabwe, and am just praising God for the prosperity, freedom and privileges of living in this fabulous island home. But I pray for them, that some of our blessings may fall into their laps also. And for ourselves, that we might live lives of gratitude, and show even a small measure of the joy and faith that the people I met in Zimbabwe still show despite the most appalling injustices and oppression. And I’m not really sure who needs the most prayer!

We are so privileged.

Why all this Rush?

What a busy week this is with all the preparations for Christmas and the countdown to the great day itself getting lower all the time. I remember when this Guernsey family lived overseas and Christmas had a very different feel to it. We spent a couple of years living in the Seychelles – a fabulous group of islands in the Indian Ocean, a bit like Herm in the Channel Islands really but with hot weather all the year round. Christmas was a strange time living there because we felt so left out of all the dashing around that usually precedes the season at home. There were no Christmas decorations in the shops until Christmas Eve itself, and then just a few straggly paper chains to mark the coming of the special day. Christmas food was the usual spicy fish and rice followed by bread fruit or mangoes.

Yet in a sense that pared down version of Christmas was quite refreshing. Gone was the perpetual seasonal background music and the pushing and shoving of the crowds. In their place just simple, quiet reminders that people matter more than presents, and that some of the best things in life are free. In fact, when we tuned into the BBC World Service to listen to the nostalgic sound of carols from Kings College Cambridge thousands of miles away, we were probably closer to the real essence of Christmas then than we are today, despite the heat. ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie’.

Have a quiet Christmas!

The Plot Thickens

John Darwin (photo above courtesy of http://www.bbc.co.uk/) the man who disappeared five years ago off the coast of Cleveland in north western England, was presumed dead and reappeared last week, has now been arrested on suspicion of fraud. It appears that his wife, who is now living in Panama in Central America, was spotted with him in a photograph published on the internet and dated around 18 months ago. The picture was taken in Panama and published on the front page of British tabloid newspapers shows them together and Mr Darwin alive and well.

Amazingly, his two sons are claiming that they knew absolutely nothing of their parents' deception and had been left to believe that their father was dead for the last five years. It would appear that the motive for all this was probably the insurance paid out on Mr Darwin's 'death'.

While the whole story gives the truth to the biblical adage 'be sure your sins will find you out' it also has other lessons too. The lengths to which people will allegedly go to deceive others for financial gain is enormous. The deceit of the immediate family, not to mention neighbours, employers friends and the rescue services (who risked their own lives in the prolonged search for Mr Darwin) beggars belief. And all through the last five years this apparently normal middle class British couple have been living a lie. After all that, they may even find the ordeal of exposure and punishment a relief now that the truth is out.

How much better to 'walk in the light' in the first place? Why choose to live a lie at any price? Jesus said 'I am the Truth' and those who follow Him do so in the strength of the Holy Spirit - the Spirit of Truth. Living a transparent and truth-filled life in Christ is the only path to peace. And at the end of the day, what is peace of mind and heart really worth?

More than a life-insurance pay out, that's for sure.

Back from the Dead

The mysterious reappearance in England of John Darwin after being missing for five years is becoming something of a cause celebre. When Darwin went missing he had been reported adrift in the sea in a canoe which later turned up smashed to pieces on the rocks and his paddle was found floating in the tide. A huge air-sea rescue search was unsuccessful and after a few days was called off. One year later, Darwin's wife went to court to have her husband declared legally dead. Then this week he walked into a West London police station declaring 'I think I may be a missing person!'

To add to the mystery, John's wife has recently gone missing, having sold the family home just weeks ago and reportedly moved to Panama. As to what happened to John during those five missing years - well, the police are still looking into it, but he claims to have lost his memory completely. His elderly father is a committed Christian, and when told of his son 's reappearance exclaimed 'Thank the Lord!' before bursting into tears.

What of course is clear is that John Darwin has not actually returned from the dead. There will be some explanation even if it takes a while to come out. But just imagine if that were not so. What if someone died a very public death and even went through a public burial in a borrowed tomb? Their death was certified by military specialists in judicial execution. Their body was smashed up almost beyond recognition. Then, suddenly and without warning, they were seen wandering about a few days later! Their family were shocked, their friends stunned. The one whom they had mourned was now actually alive and well and moving among them. The grave was now lying open and their loved one was speaking to them.

Surely if all this happened there would be massive public interest in the facts. What did you see on the other side? What did it feel like to die and then to rise again? Well of course, this scenario did really happen and the events described above actually took place. Even more amazing than the story unfolding in the Darwin family is the one that surrounded the person of Jesus. Now when we hear the news that he is back from the dead, we can really say 'Thank the Lord!'.

Getting the Balance Right

'Anger: Your Spiritual Ally' is a strange title for a book. Written by Andrew Lester and published recently in the UK it offers the idea that far from being the enemy of a Christian, anger is actually our friend!

Now if you're anything like me you'll find that a bit hard to swallow. After all, I've always thought that Christians weren't supposed to get angry, and if they did, they ought to keep it to themselves. We've all seen the damage that anger can do - fractured homes, frightened children, disappointed work colleagues, even violence and death itself - so what good is anger?

As I read the book, and more importantly the Scriptures on this subject, I came to discover some significant truths. Firstly, anger is part of that human nature of which the Creator said 'It's good' in Genesis. OK, so the events of Genesis 3 radically spoiled that assessment, but what I'm getting at is that anger is a normal part of human nature. Secondly, those who know their Bibles will agree that there is clear evidence that God gets angry (very angry actually, though we also read that He is 'slow to anger'). The events surrounding Jesus' rampage through the Temple courts armed with a scourge of cords are also evidence that Jesus (who was sinless) experienced anger. Thirdly, the Bible teaches that there is an anger which is healthy, and another expression of it which is not, in fact is sin. 'Be angry and do not sin' is the advice of the Apostle Paul, contrasting the two.

Now why am I reading that book? Well, partly because I am writing a follow-up to my own book Braving the Storm which contains a chapter on anger. Partly also, though, if I'm honest, I struggle with feelings of anger about my decade or more of chronic pain and serious ill health, and the effects they have had on my family and ministry. I am relieved to read what Mr Lester has to say, and am resolved to find ways of 'owning' my anger and expressing it to God so as to make it part of the healing and not part of the problem.

Now that's what I call a spiritual ally.

Death of a Good Man

This week a really good man went to be with the Lord, leaving his wife, children and work behind. This is what the Christian news media said about the passing of Rob Frost:

"Senior church leaders paid tribute this week to Revd Dr Rob Frost, founder of Share Jesus International, who died on Sunday, age 57. Dr Frost, a Methodist Minister and former national evangelist for the Methodist Church, initiated scores of projects including Easter People and next year’s London-based Pentecost celebrations. He died only months after being diagnosed with skin cancer in June. Methodist Church General Secretary, Revd David Deeks, said, ‘Rob’s passion for evangelism was boundless and he leaves a great legacy.’ Revd Dr David Coffey, President of the Baptist World Alliance, said, ‘Rob ranks as one of the most creative evangelists and able apologists of his generation.’ Evangelical Alliance General Director, Revd Joel Edwards, praised Rob’s ‘fervour and creativity’, his mentoring of young people and said ‘His aspiration to rediscover the spirit of Pentecost and make it accessible to the culture’ will be ‘his final legacy’."

I have always felt that Rob had an influence way beyond the circles that he normally moved in - he came from Methodism - and his testimony and ministry touched many lives. I can imagine that his family are finding this a tough time, and will need our prayers. It would have seemed so much more sensible for Rob to live and work on for another 10 or 20 years, but that was not in God's plan for him.

As we ponder the passing of a great servant of God, the tribute paid to King David comes to mind. He 'served the purpose of God in his generation and then fell asleep'. What a testimony, and one that we would love to have said about us. Rob was brave, clear minded about the gospel, filled with the Holy Spirit, and sold out for Jesus. 'His works follow him'.

There is a great mystery in the matter of God's timing for our lives, but one thing we can learn from this is to do all we can, with all the strength that we can, for as long as we can. The rest, we leave to God.

Goodnight Rob.

Networking

Now with the wonders of the Worldwide Web we are able to 'network' with our friends. All good stuff, whether it's on Facebook, MySpace or even on the special networking site for over 50's 'sagazone'. I am now able to catch up with friends all over the place, and am even playing Scrabble with my best friend Graeme who lives down under in New Zealand! Needless to say, I am ahead!

Got me thinking, though, about the issue of quantity versus quality when it comes to friendship. All this networking could still leave us sitting alone at our computers hardly ever meeting up with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for contact, especially over the miles, but nothing beats face to face get togethers over a great coffee. Also, there is room for fraud and identity theft in all this, something that was being warned about only recently on television in the UK.

This weekend I will meet up with some friends in the Lake District that I haven't seen for a long time - and I'm really excited about it! There's nothing to really beat the buzz of chatting and catching up on mutual friends and even with what God is doing in our lives.

If prayer is some kind of networking with God, I am realy glad that one day He and I are going to catch up in person. 'Face to face I shall behold Him' as the songwriter says. It's great having access to the Lord every day, and even in the night when you can't sleep, but it will be even greater to sit down and talk through a few heavy issues when I see Him!

So, to all my Facebook chums, if you are coming anywhere near Guernsey do let me know, and if I'm around your neck of the woods I'll get in touch. And Graeme - if you read this - let's meet up in Singapore for a coffee some time soon!

Mine's a cappucino.

No Greater Love

This week witnessed an appalling tragedy in Portugal. Robert and Deborah Fry and Barbara Jean Dinsmore from Wootton Bassett, in Wiltshire, died there on Monday. The three Britons and a German were killed while trying to save their children from strong currents off Praia do Tonel beach near Sagres. When their children, who were playing in the sea near to a large rock, got into difficulties, the rescuers rushed to their aid without thought for their own safety. Following the drownings, all the children were rescued by some young surfers or managed to get ashore with only minor injuries.

It is deeply moving to consider the attitude of these people. Theirs was the ultimate sacrifice. I know as a parent what motivated them, and it is both awesome and humbling to be aware of such strong emotions in our hearts. 'Greater love has no man than this' said Jesus, 'to lay down his life for his friend'. We salute their bravery and selfless love, though mourn and regret their loss and the tragedy of the outcome.

The very fact of the presence of such compelling love is another sign of the handiwork of God in us. He is also a self-sacrificing lover. Jesus gave Himself on the cross for our salvation with no thought for His own comfort or feelings. He became a sacrifice for us - for me - because He knew I was in deep trouble. The rip currents of my sin were so deep and strong that unless He had come and hurled Himself into the waves I would have been lost forever. But here the image stumbles. Jesus did die in the attempt to save me, but He also rose again from the dead three days later. It is as if those parents had been able to walk from the sea and watch their much loved children being taken away in safety. Even more than that, by the death and resurrection of Jesus I will not only just survive this life but will live for ever.

We will remember them.

Countdown to Letting Go

It has been a long time now since I felt that God was calling me to 'let go' and hand over my church and ministry to Him like Abraham offered his precious son Isaac on an altar in Genesis 22. These have not been easy days as I have tried every which way to weadle out of the deal and find another way of obeying God that did not involve loss or sacrifice. But now, the time is near, and in just a week's time, we will say farewell to the church we love with all our hearts and begin a season of rest and waiting on God for direction.

Why is it so hard to do what you know is right, and everyone who loves you is advising you to do? Well, partly because it involves uncertainty. Not knowing what the future holds is a risky business, and faith is often spelt r-i-s-k. Holding on to what you know and feel comfortable with is so much easier than stepping out into the unkown. Was it John Ortberg who coined the phrase: 'if you want to walk on water you have got to get out of the boat'? Leaving the comfort zone and letting your faith really work for you is proving to be just as hard as it sounds, but then faith is a muscle, it really does grow through use.

I suppose that what really is going on is God's way of finding out what turns my light on. Am I really in love with Jesus and following Him no matter what, or does my Christian service and position give me the security I secretly crave? I hope I'll stand the test, but if these early days are anything to go by, it won't be without its pain.

Still, the great thing is that we live in the 'upside-down' kingdom. Letting go is actually to receive, and the way down is the way up. If we are, as Paul says, stronger when we are weak, then in the topsy turvy reckoning of the Kingdom of God, this is really quite a good week! Lord, give me grace!

On Being Real

I have just enjoyed reading Brennan Manning's amazing classic 'The Ragamuffin Gospel'. In it he highlights the need for us to be real about ourselves and stop pretending that we have got it all together, because God's unconditional love flows constantly towards us whether we deserve it or not (and we don't!).

I try to say a similar thing in my own book Braving the Storm when I contrast the 'La La Land' where every prayer is answered just the way we want it with the reality of a life lived in a fallen world. Denial is such a dangerous folly because it robs us of the joy of knowing that we are accepted by a loving Father just as we are - though He loves us too much to leave us the way we are!

The problem we struggle with is one of image. Consider the image that this ID carrying guy has of himself. Hardly in touch with reality eh? Most of us try to project an image of ourselves that is not really in touch with what we truly are. In such circumstances we can't relax - we are constantly adjusting our image in the mirror to make sure that it fits with our preconceived idea of what we should look like. But God knows who we really are, and delights in us right now, singing over us with joy (Zephaniah 3:17). We no longer need to worry about our image when we relax in the grace and love of this caring God.

So let's make a decision to get real and stay real. To remember the words of the apostle Paul who said: 'When I am weak then I am strong'. Not 'when I am weak then He is strong'. Here's a prayer from the Ragamuffin Gospel (Authentic Classics, page 113):

'Lord Jesus, we are silly sheep who have dared to stand before You with our
preposterous portfolios. Suddenly we have come to our senses. We are sorry and
we ask you to forgive us. Give us the grace to admit that we are ragamuffins, to
embrace our brokenness, to celebrate Your mercy when we are at our weakest, to
rely on Your mercy no matter what we may do ... Amen.'

Amen to that!

Seat of Power

I was in London this week. I went back there to see the consultant who has been in charge of my medical case during these last 3 years - during which I have travelled by air to the UK capital for medical treatment 40 times. Early in the morning last Thursday I had the privilege of speaking to the capital's population on a breakfast radio show about my book Braving the Storm, and then off I went to Harley Street to see the man himself. The result is that Diane and I will be going back this coming week for me to be admitted to the University College London Hospital for a couple of days for a procedure called a 'coeliac plexus block'. Apparently in two thirds of cases where it is given it can be effective in reducing pain and the need for opiates.

Whilst waiting for my train back to Gatwick Airport I went by underground to Westminster and saw the sights there. It was quite moving to be at such a historical location, and one where such influence is exerted over so many lives. There was a real sense of being somewhere very special and there were tourists there from all over the world.

One thing that struck me is how many politicians and leaders have come and gone over the centuries, and yet the grand palace of Westminster goes on as if they had never been there. There are statues of Winston Churchill, Benjamin Disraeli, Jan Smuts, and now even Nelson Mandela! Kindoms rise and kingdoms fall. now it is Gordon Brown's turn - but for how long?

I'm really glad to belong to a Kingdom that will never end, where the leader is someone who loves me and cares about my needs. We don't have to worry about future changes in leadership because Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever, and the 'government is upon His shoulder'! We can relax and trust in that fact.

His throne is the real seat of power.

One Painful Altar

The scene was a mountain side where the unthinkable was about to happen. Abram, the patriarch of the Jewish people, and a firm believer in the one true God, was about to sacrifice his son Isaac on an altar. This was not what believers normally did! Only the pagans sacrificed their children in this way. What could he be thinking about?

This heart-rending picture taken from Genesis 22 tells of the anguish in a father's heart, and yet his willing obedience to God. Isaac was the son of God's promises, born out of due time, and to become the father of all that God had said He would achieve through Abram's descendents. Yet, here on this bleak mountainside, opposite what has since become known as the Mount of Olives, his number was up.

What had driven Abram to this extreme? God had spoken commanding him to offer up his only son whom he loved dearly. And now, this scene is speaking to me. I am at the moment in the process of offering up to God the most precious posession I have after my wife and son. My ministry, and the church I love with all my heart. It seems that He is calling me to do so - not with some boring job that I could do without anyway - but with my precious children in the Lord. For a preacher not be able to preach - well Mount Vesuvius has nothing to compare with the growing undergound pressure! But now to have to let go and let someone else take the ministry, that is a real Isaac on the altar situation.

Wonderfully, in Genesis Isaac did not die. God was not finished with him yet, nor with Abram who became Abraham the father of nations. I know in my heart that God's not finished with me yet either, but this altar stands right in my path at the moment. Pass me that knife.

Mountain King

They are some of the most moving words in the whole of the Bible. The prophet Habbakuk worked and ministered at a time when the spiritual, social and political life of God's people Israel was at its lowest. Before there would be any kind of awakening or renewal there would first have to be a 70 year period of exile and banishment. Things were pretty tough when Habbakuk
spoke or perhaps sang these words:

Though the cherry trees don’t blossom and the strawberries
don’t ripen,
Though the apples are worm–eaten and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the
sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, I’m
singing
joyful praise to GOD. I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior
God.
Counting on GOD’s Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength.
I run
like a deer. I feel like I’m king of the mountain!

This statement of faith was wrung from lips that were more used to complaining. The whole of Habbakuk's prophecy is built around his complaints to God about the unfairness of all that was going on around him. He could not understand how God would allow His people to suffer at the hands of an ungodly heathen nation - the Babylonians. In chapter 2 God told him to write down a vision - and though its fulfilment would be delayed - to wait for it with hope and confidence for it will surely come.

I have my complaints too. I feel like Habbakuk in some small way. It seems so unfair to be in so much pain after so long, and following so much surgery and medical intervention - not to mention healing prayer! Yet, here we are. Now the doctors are telling to me to rest for at least 3 months and to return to London for more procedures. My heart is in the work of God at the church that I have the privilege to serve, and that is all I desire to do. Yet now, through nothing of my own doing, even that is denied.

Then the words of Habbakuk's final prophecy hit me. He shares my mystified sorrow at what is, yet he is rejoicing in the One who rules over all. The God of the mountain makes no mistakes and so the prophet see himself as 'king of the mountain' - dancing on the deadly heights. And this is the secret. Paul the Apostle knew it when he suffered under house arrest and in prison for years on end - and we are blessed by his writings during a period when he must have felt so frustrated. No situation is wasted with God, and even barren-ness is not empty. Out of our unfairness flows His promise of Romans 8:28 that God works every situation for the good of those who love Him and follow His way.

God of the mountain and the valley, help me to rejoice in You today.