Suicide Capital of Britain?

Is Guernsey set to become the suicide capital of Great Britain? This headline in the UK newspaper the Daily Express, copied by others, has thrown a forthcoming debate in the island's government into the national limelight. In May the States of Guernsey will be asked by its leading minister plus six others, to decide whether Guernsey is in favour of 'assisted dying' for the terminally ill. If they prevail, and there are signs that they may, the island will set up a consultation to find ways and means to implement this momentous step, and may well lead the way in doing so within the British Isles.

One island politician, Deputy Emilie Yerby, in a blog on the issue, said "This is a very personal, emotionally fraught debate. Whatever side of the argument we are on, we need to approach it with compassion, mutual respect and honesty. People will bare their souls and confront some of their deepest fears over the coming weeks. We owe it to our community to create the kind of environment where they feel safe to do so."

Maybe not quite baring my soul, but I want to share my own perspective on this emotive issue. I do so not just as a Christian or church leader, but as a sufferer. In all my 22 years of the most appalling pain requiring around 100 admissions to hospital and over 30 surgeries I have always felt that the medics were on my side. I have often been embarrassed to be causing them so much work, and felt like a real nuisance, but they have always reassured me that they were with me in wanting to overcome this dreadful disease and keep me alive, even when that seemed so unlikely. I really do feel that my relationship with those doctors and nurses would have been changed for the worse if they were asked to become 'killers'.

Also, during the two decades I spent battling this most painful and deadly disease, if I had chosen to take a short-cut, I would have missed the amazing space-age transplant surgery that transformed my life nine months ago in Newcastle. Even now, the NHS in England is only proposing to start clinical trials into this surgery which is still not available anywhere in Europe. Medical research is constantly advancing, and short-cuts would have denied me this opportunity, even if I had wanted to take one.

I feel the utmost sadness and compassion for folk who are suffering appalling pain and life-limiting conditions. I also understand that carers and loved ones must feel desperate in the face of such circumstances and might feel that they would not even treat an animal the way their loved ones might be suffering. But we are not merely animals - we are body mind and spirit - and our lives are precious even when we might feel that all earthly hope is gone.

Please don't let us get agitated and heated over this, as Deputy Yerby advises us, but if you live in Guernsey do please engage with our States' deputies and help them to grapple with what is surely one of the toughest decisions they will have to make for a long while. And if Guernsey is a long way away from you, don't forget the words of the poet John Donne:

No man is an island entire of itself;... any man's death diminishes me, 

because I am involved in mankind. 

And therefore never send to know for whom 

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. 

A Garden without Easter bunnies?

There may be a few Israeli rabbits nesting nearby, but there are no Easter Bunnies here! This is the Garden Tomb in Jerusalem, believed by many to be the actual site, or very similar to it, of the grave where Jesus' body lay on the first Easter Saturday.There is a tomb at the centre of the Easter story. A place of cold grief and bitter tears. A real tomb for a really dead man, not just somewhere for a swooned imposter to await rescue by his fellow conspirators. This is God's tomb, where God the Son tasted death for me. This is the devil's best, an attempt to wipe out the catalogue of miracles and mercy that Jesus wrote in Galilee and substitute his own pathetic offering of "always look on the bright side" and "did God really say..?" doubt.


And the view from the tomb of Jesus is magnificent. Its light casts a quick flicker of hope over a place of suffering and pain, Golgotha or Calvary, and slowly expands towards the brilliant dawn that is already starting to change the colours we see only through our tears. Yes, this is God's tomb, but much more than that - it is MY tomb as well. For, in the words of the Apostle Paul, "I have been crucified with Christ" (Galatians 2:20). The old me is dead and buried, and just as Jesus breaks forth from the tomb outside Jerusalem, so I am set free by Christ from self, from having to impress others, even from the fear of death itself.

And here's an offer you won't see in many catalogues - it can be YOUR tomb as well! "Oh thanks Eric" I can hear you say "that's all I need on top of everything else I am suffering". But that's the whole point, this tomb is the place where you can lay your sufferings down, and your achievements, and stop trying to impress God and others. You can be identified with Jesus in His death also, and rise with Him to a completely new life!


I am grateful that God knows what it feels like to suffer and die, and be laid in a tomb by weeping loved ones. I am glad that he understands my pain, and yours, and that he comes to us on our 'silent Saturdays' and dark nights of the soul. But I'm also rejoicing that the tomb is no longer in use as a grave. The Lord of life and glory could not be held by those chains of death. It may be Easter Saturday, but hey - Sunday's coming!

No Greater Sacrifice

 On this Good Friday Christians around the world are recalling the death of Jesus on a Roman cross outside Jerusalem. We are not doing so in some kind of dark or mournful fascination with violent death, but in gratitude for an act which changed our lives forever. Jesus, who committed no sin in his amazing life of compassion and care for others, "became sin for us" according to the Bible's teaching, so that we might receive forgiveness and right standing with God. This substitution of the Son of God for us and in our place means that God's rightful anger against sin and wrongdoing is forever dealt with. Christ paid the price for us to go free. He took the hostage's place and died instead of us.

France mourned this week the death of a national hero. Col. Beltrame attended a terrorist incident in southern France where hostages were being held. The officer's brave actions helped bring an end to the siege in a supermarket in Trèbes by 25-year-old Redouane Lakdim, who had earlier killed a person in nearby Carcassonne. The gunman claimed to be a supporter of the Islamic State group. Sixteen people were also injured, two seriously, in what was the worst jihadist attack under Mr Macron's presidency. The gunman was shot dead by police.

When the French police colonel offered to take the place of a female hostage he would have known he was putting his life on the line. The gunman had already killed and declared his opposition to Western values and all those in authority. Surely compassion must have moved Col Beltrame's heart as he contemplated the fate of the threatened woman. He stepped forward to put himself in the firing line. No greater sacrifice could be asked of a public servant.

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is the ultimate authority figure, shunned by millions who refuse his love and way, but worshipped by countless millions more. He was sent to us here on earth as a rescue mission. We were hostages held by our passions, selfishness and pride. Then one stepped forward to take our place. "I will go" he said to his heavenly father and moved purposefully towards Jerusalem and the appalling death of crucifixion for us. No greater sacrifice could be asked of a God who loves us.

Yes, it is Good Friday. But hey - Sunday's coming!

The Beast from the East

Cold War shivers are back. The 'Beast from the East' is freezing more than our air temperatures. A whole generation of younger folk have never known the fears and chills of the nuclear arms race with its threats of global extinction. By the grace of God the world did not blow itself up during those decades. There were many nuclear accidents and equipment malfunctions that occurred where disaster was only just averted. On top of that men with huge egos played fast and loose with threats of holocaust that were only turned away at the last moment, like the Cuban missile crisis in the 1960's. We can only presume that it was not yet God's time to wind up this planet in the way described in the prophecy of St Peter:"...the heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare". (2 Peter 3:10).

President Putin seeks re-election this weekend. His name is on the lips of nations around the world for recent allegations that may make his popularity rise at home, but increase the possibility of a renewed cold war. He boasted recently of having developed nuclear devices and missiles that cannot be traced or stopped by any defences. He is not alone in his self-aggrandising threats to world peace. The two egoistical and possibly unstable presidents of nuclear armed nations and historic enemies, Trump and Kim Jon Il, will meet sometime this year.  It is to be hoped that their nuclear buttons will be well out of reach as they boast to one another about the size of their respective devices.

How should Christians prepare for the new big freeze? As they always have done, of course, since power-mad Caesars like Nero and Caligula ruled the known world with cruelty and violence. We need a living, passionate, powerful, attractive relationship with Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit that will win people over by the warmth of God's reality, love and kindness. We also need to pray for leaders and their advisors. I felt very keenly this week the need to pray for Mrs May, and we should also intercede for those named above. And above all, we need to remember who is really in charge. We are not at the mercy of 'rocket man', maniacs and 'dotards'. We belong to the living God, and this world will be folded up like a scroll when he says so and not a moment sooner.

We don't need a 'fall-out shelter' (yet!). We do need to 'fall-in' though, with the maker of the universe, and seek his perspective on our crazy mixed-up generation. A shivering world is starving for warmth, affection, love and a higher hand on the tiller. That hand is the healing hand of Jesus.

With cameras watching our every move, are we truly free?

Some years ago the phrase 'big brother is watching you' from George Orwell's classic tale 1984 inspired fear. The thought that governments and businesses could watch us through secret cameras was a futuristic nightmare. We comforted ourselves that this would never happen in good old Great Britain with all its ancient rights of freedom secured since King John signed the Magna Carta at Runnymede in 1215! Yet today our lives are being observed daily via countless CCTV cameras, dash-cams, helmet cameras, body cameras and a variety of online snooping devices. Without them I doubt whether our police would make many arrests let alone secure convictions! We are a watched people.

I officiated at a funeral this week where the deceased had asked in advance that we read Psalm 139 - my favourite psalm anyway.  It begins with the words "O Lord, you have searched me and know me, you are familiar with all my ways". Some folk would find that idea unpalatable. The thought of God knowing us through and through, even to the extent of reading our thoughts from afar, could potentially terrify. That level of scrutiny might threaten our sense of independence of thought and action, reducing our dignity as decision making human beings. Yet, to me, the opposite is the case. The God who knows us completely, loves us totally - and without reserve. His knowledge of us does not reduce our ability to choose and act, but it should make us reflect on the fact that what we do and say in secret is seen and known in the spiritual realm. We are a watched people - but also a people loved.

The Psalm also asks the question "where can I go from your Spirit and where can I flee from your presence, O Lord?" Here again seems to be a level of Divine activity that might be a surprise, if not a worry to some. It certainly shocked the Old Testament character Jonah who thought he could escape God's call by taking a ferry and clearing off into the distance. The great fish that was prepared for him became a submarine delivery service, spewing him up onto the very beach from which he had fled! We might run from God but we cannot hide from him nor his relentless love and care for us. Changing the narrative, and the Testament, Jesus told of a good shepherd who left his 99 sheep in the fold and went searching for the lost sheep. When he found it he returned carrying the errant animal rejoicing that the one who was lost had been found. Jesus is a good shepherd and an expert tracker. He is obsessed with finding lost people. If you are running from God or trying to hide, maybe now would be a good time to face the one who is pursuing you and accept his embrace of love, forgiveness and change. We are a pursued people.

Given the first line of Psalm 139 the finale is a little strange. Yet it sets out for us a prayer that the persistent love of God requires of us. "Search me, O God, and know my heart.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Maybe if we could make that our prayer right now, we could stop the running and the hiding, and even the fear of being fully known. After all, if we are being watched and pursued and loved, maybe it would be a relief to be found!

The Time for Flowers

The time for flowers has come. Well - not quite because as I write on the 28th February 2018 there will not be a leap year day tomorrow. But on the 29th February exactly 50 years ago, Diane and I first met. We both attended a car treasure hunt being organised by her local church and Diane was in charge (when isn't she?? Only joking my love.. hmm). I looked at her and thought "Wow"! Then "I'll bet she's already taken" and with that thought gave up and focused on winning the game. Afterwards we were sitting in the coffee bar area when she came up to me and asked "would you like some more soup"? My answer was to shuffle up and make room for her to sit down and we had our first chat. Half a century later we are still chatting.

We both feel that we found the treasure that day. When folk talk about love at first sight it hardly seems real. It is, in fact, quite rare, but the idea is both alluring and romantic. That was our experience, though, and we have been 'Eric and Diane' ever since. Now our desire is to do life together right up until we walk through heaven's gate hand in hand. To know and love one other person as deeply for as long is a great privilege, and one that we do not take for granted. Diane has sat beside what she thought would be my death-bed more than once, and we have said our final farewells to each other more times than we would have ever wanted, but God has been good to us and spared us so that we can rejoice in this day.

I have recently started keeping a 'gratitude diary' in which I write briefly down things for which I am thankful every day. It helps me to stay focused on positive things when weakness or problems might distract. Today I have plenty to write down. I hope you would have too. If you have not been blessed with the sort of relationship that I have described above please don't be too disheartened. We are all individuals and are all different, but God is still good and has good plans for our lives. Maybe there are still things that, despite the winter cold, you can join me in rejoicing about today? It may be cold and dark outside, but the time for flowers is also here.

Clean Hands and a Pure Heart?

Photo from Christianity Today Weekly Newsletter Feb. 23rd 2018

The death this week of Billy Graham aged 99 has awakened a whole lot of memories from the middle of the last century. The US evangelist took Britain by storm in the 1950's and '60's with his large-scale major 'Crusades' in venues like the huge stadiums at Wembley and Haringay. His simple but powerful preaching of the good news of the gospel of Jesus made a huge impact on many thousands and resulted in folk making commitments of their lives to the service of Christ and others. I met missionaries overseas in Africa and India who had come to faith through his preaching and were going on to do great work for God where they felt called.

I had never heard of him so when a college friend invited me to the 'landline Billy Graham relays' at St James hall in Guernsey in 1967 I was puzzled. "Who is this man?" I asked my Mum, who replied that he was some kind of religious salesman. I was not intrigued enough to attend, but I was stirred to know more, as I reasoned that if a man could sell religion he could probably sell anything!

As I look back upon his influence over the decades I am most struck by the record for integrity that Billy Graham and his team maintained.  Stung by the Elmer Gantry caricature of the hypocritical travelling evangelist in American culture and media, the Graham team decided to act. In 1948 during a crusade in Modesto California, Billy called the team to his hotel room and challenged them to find a way to 'stay clean' in their work. Sex, money and power were proving to be the downfall of other itinerant evangelistic teams as it sadly has been too often in Christian leadership over the years. The Modesto Manifesto became a programme of accountability and avoidance that would serve Billy Graham well over the decades.

Integrity is when your outsides match your insides even when nobody is looking. It is a vital component to ministry and leadership of all kinds. Billy Graham wanted to 'stay pure' but he harboured no misunderstanding about his own vulnerability. He protected himself in advance so that his work would not be undermined or destroyed by scandal.

Another great evangelist in my own denomination, Alexander Tee, once said "If you want to be successful in ministry keep your hands off the glory and your fingers out of the gold". Billy Graham's hands were clean but not by accident. By the grace of God and the wise counsel of others he fought the good fight and overcame. After all, isn't it better to erect a fence at the top of a cliff rather than park an ambulance at the bottom?

More than a Passing Pain

I met a dear friend yesterday whose heart is breaking. You would not know it if you saw her in the supermarket or driving her car. She beams with pride when speaking about her extended family and loves the outdoors. Her attitude to those in pain is exemplary, practical and caring. She does her work as requested and puts more into it than many would. She loves and is loved. She believes that God is preparing a place for her 'on the other side' of life.

Yet, Jane (not her real name but I can't keep saying 'she') is wracked with the most appalling clinical depression. I don't know if it is worse at this time of the year when dark winter clouds blot out the life-giving rays of the sun. Maybe it is, but I suspect perhaps not, because this is what the Bible describes as "the arrow that flies by day and the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, the plague that destroys at midday"(Ps. 91:5-6). This kind of deadly depression seems to hit us when we are down, not just when the sun goes down.

Winston Churchill, the great war leader of Britain, suffered from bouts of dreadful self-doubt and dark depression. The recent film Darkest Hour reveals this well. He called depression his black dog, and felt that it plagued him at the most unwelcome times.

William Cowper, the writer of several well-known hymns like "There is a Fountain" and "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" was plagued with dark periods of despair and depression all his life. At the age of 21 he wrote "I was struck with such a dejection of spirits, as none but they who have felt the same, can have the least conception of. Day and night I was upon the rack, lying down in horror, rising up in despair." His many attempts at suicide were not just cries for help - they were the outcome of his hatred of his life and himself, and the misdirected longing to be free from his suffering.

When my lovely, joyful wife and I were first married, she suffered from 13 years of almost unbearable depression and anxiety. Those years of sleeplessness, distress and dark forebodings, affected us both deeply. We can and do thank God for stepping in and through a long process of counselling. love, prayer and healing ministry, bringing both of us out of the shadows. But it is not easy, nor is it something that can be achieved in a moment.

Those whose hearts are breaking right now are precious to God and they should be to us. You can't see a sign on Jane saying "I am depressed". May God help us to be more sensitive to those in the grip of this plague and offer far more than platitudes. Practical love manifest in persevering prayer, comfort and kindness, acceptance and grace, must all play their part in helping others to get through.

Think of that if you have a moment to read William Cowper's words below - words torn from a breaking heart.

1. God moves in a mysterious way
   His wonders to perform;
   He plants His footsteps in the sea
   And rides upon the storm.
2. Deep in unfathomable mines
   Of never failing skill
   He treasures up His bright designs
   And works His sov’reign will.
3. Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
   The clouds ye so much dread
   Are big with mercy and shall break
   In blessings on your head.
4. Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
   But trust Him for His grace;
   Behind a frowning providence
   He hides a smiling face.
5. His purposes will ripen fast,
   Unfolding every hour;
   The bud may have a bitter taste,
   But sweet will be the flow’r.
6. Blind unbelief is sure to err
   And scan His work in vain;
   God is His own interpreter,
   And He will make it plain.

Preaching and Burning Bones

I love preaching! Mostly doing it, of course, although I am also an avid sermon listener and always make fulsome notes to review later (no, Matt Gregor - [my pastor and friend] I am not writing a shopping list or doodling!). My whole adult life has been given over to preparing and preaching messages of all types. Sermons, homilies, radio talks, debates, speeches, and all kinds of oral communication. My PhD thesis was on the subject of preaching in a 21st Century setting, and I had to research the subject inside out and upside down at that time.

Last weekend I had the joy of preaching at the City Church Cardiff in Wales, UK. It is a preacher's church building, with hundreds of people stacked high in a rising terrace in front of the stage. The church programme that day included services at 9am and 11am, 4pm and 6.30pm with large crowds attending. I spoke at the first two, and Diane gave a short account in each of how God has helped us through the 21 years since I left the post of Senior Pastor at that church, seriously unwell. It was a wonderful day of proclaiming the goodness of God and our need to trust in him even when things are tough. A handful of people made first-time commitments to become followers of Christ and that crowned an otherwise glorious day.

Sadly, though, preaching has fallen onto hard times. As the joke above (taken from the Church Humor (sic) Newsletter published from newsletter@lists.christianitytoday.com) shows only too well, many preachers find their material in online joke sites and other even less worthy places. Don't get me wrong, I am all for good humour in the pulpit and I try to make effective use of it. But a serious attempt to hear from God in his Word - the Bible - and to communicate that with passion to our listeners, must mark preachers today as always.

Preaching is not a lecture nor a seminar. It is an encounter with the living God in his Word by the power of his Spirit. When I kept silence for the last 2 years up to Christmas 2017 due to my extreme ill health and recovery from major surgery, the fire of God's message burned in my bones. Last Sunday I was at last able to release it with joy and watch it kindle a glow of faith in the hearts of my listeners.  That was a huge privilege and I hope the start of many such times to come.

Please pray for your preachers, and do encourage them when they do well. Take notes of what they teach and say, and make the sermon as vital as Sunday lunch in your life too. Your bones may even start burning as well!

You'll Never Guess what they are Painting now! Lessons from Four-legged Hooligans!

"I didn't do it!"

You will never guess what the Guernsey authorities are going to paint blue now!  Yes, the poor dog hiding behind the fence is the clue - dog poo!! Later this year a team of dog wardens are going to creep around a much-loved island common watching out for those offending heaps.  When they see them they will paint them bright blue (with a spray can you'll be relieved to know). As a (sadly) former dog owner, and all-time dog lover, nothing makes me more mad than owners who refuse to pick up after their pooch. After all, the resulting mess is not only smelly and disgusting to see, it is both unhygienic and downright dangerous to the health of children. But - forgive my cynical incredulity - I just cannot see this plan working to reduce the problem.

The idea is to shame people into avoiding the issue, either literally by not stepping in it, or educationally when they realise it was their beloved hound that did it! But it does feel like bolting, or perhaps painting, doors after the animal has skedaddled. Maybe it will work and time alone will tell.

What this typically Guernsey solution has put me in mind of is how often people go around spray painting our faults and mistakes after the event instead of helping us to avoid them in the first place. Is this what Jesus meant when he said that we shouldn't try to remove a tiny speck of dust from someone's eye while there is a great big plank sticking out of our own?  Well, give them a pair of protective plastic glasses eh? And go and see the surgeons about that plank.

'After-the-event' criticising and highlighting (painting poo) may fulfill our desire to flag up a problem caused by other peoples' wrongs, but does it ever really change human nature? Integrity is choosing to do what's right, to our own cost, even when nobody else is watching. That is an issue of the heart, and maybe if the blue piles of poo reveal that to us, they will have served some slight benefit. Only a change of heart can really address anti-social behaviour of any kind. Sadly we live in an age where ideals of right and wrong are sometimes overlooked by those who should know better.

I still think a supply of poo bags and bins in each car-park is probably the best we can do. "Here boy.. no don't do that - not there!"

Blue Monday gives way to Wonderful Wednesday!

In this season of grim days and dim days it is so good to have a reason to celebrate! Today is my wonderful wife's birthday and what a different one it is proving to be from the last 21. The past year has seen a remarkable transformation in our lives as amazing space-age surgery has set me free from chronic and recurring acute pancreatitis and everything that belongs to it. Diane has had to be my carer for most of that time, trudging the grimy streets of London alone scores of times while I was in hospital again. We have said 'goodbye' to each other more times than I want to recall when we have been warned that there was a '1 in 3' chance I would not survive this procedure or surgery. Her faithfulness has mirrored to me the character of the God we both love and serve. She has been 'Christ' to me in so many ways. I am glad that she has her voice back after a recent cold stole her joy in singing. In better weather Diane spends time in her shed, reading the Bible in several versions - even in French - and singing hymns and songs. I hesitate to tell her that everyone in the neighbourhood can hear her, but that would not stop her, nor would I want it to. God is glorified in this touching simplicity of love and faith together with its open heart and honest questions. What is there not to love?

We read together this morning from Psalm 13 in the Message version of the Bible. It says:
1  Long enough, GOD—you’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough.
2  Long enough I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me.
3  Take a good look at me, GOD, my God; I want to look life in the eye,
4  So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face.
5  I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—I’m celebrating your rescue.
6  I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers.

Well that just about sums up this day. Happy Birthday my glorious wife - and many, many happy returns!

Jaded by New Year Resolutions? Try this for size!

I don't want to be too hard on you or myself by blowing a trumpet for New Year's resolutions. All well and good as they are, I can recall some spectacular non-starters from my own past. "Going to lose a stone" - "Going to the gym and the pool regularly" - "Pray more" - "Eat less". They're all present and correct in the roll call of erstwhile good intentions. Is it the Chinese who say that the roadway to hell is paved with good intentions? If so, is there any point in this annual outbreak of self-bashing guilt-fest?

Well maybe it's not a bad thing to take a mild kind of self-test at the start of a new year (with the emphasis on the word 'kind'). Perhaps we should content ourselves with aspirations such as - to smile more and scowl less: to listen more and speak less: to err on the side of love if given a choice between that and harsh judgement: to be present in the moment rather than regretting yesteryear or day-dreaming about an unreal future.

But I have been struck anew by a prayer written over 500 years ago by a Christian leader and mystic, Ignatius of Loyola. It sets out before God and my heart what I would really want for my life in 2018, especially since I have been so graciously set free from pain and disease in the last year...

Teach us, Good Lord, to serve you as you deserve;
To give and not to count the cost;
To fight and not to heed the wounds;
To toil and not to seek for rest;
To labour and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do your will.
Through Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen.

I remember being deeply affected by hearing this prayer being said at college assemblies before I even became a committed Christian. It is so much more than a temporary resolution that may fade by February. I want to make it my prayer as we enter 2018, and I hope you might think it worthwhile to do so too. If not, remember God loves you anyway, and at least be grateful and kind. Happy New Year!

A Special Time of Peace and Goodwill.

At the time of writing it is late on Christmas Eve. What a very special time this is across the nations as people gather to sing seasonal songs and share with family, friends and neighbours the joyful message of the angels. It was a really special thing for me to bring a short message to the congregation at our local church. It was the first time in around two years since I had preached on a Sunday, let alone a Christmas Eve. In fact, last Christmas I wasn't even able to attend much over the season, and certainly not eat much due to my battle with chronic ill health. What a joy to be able to share the Christmas story myself after this year with the amazing space-age surgery I have been through. After 21 years - no pain, no opiates, no danger of an acute attack of pancreatitis, no Christmas in hospital- thank you Lord!

In fact we went to our local hospital this afternoon and were able to visit and pray with 4 or 5 folk who are having to be in there today. I feel for them, but I have to say it was with a sense of relief and deep gratitude that I could walk out again, hand in hand with my wonderful wife.

I asked for the carol "In the Bleak Midwinter" this morning because I wanted to speak about the last verse.  It says:
What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

If you want to see the video of the talk you can do so by clicking here for Vazon Elim Church's website .  Whatever you are facing this Christmas can I urge you to give God your heart in commitment and worship? Thank you, and have a very Happy Christmas.

Christmas Calamities?

I had my first "bah humbug!" moment of the season when I heard a piece on my local radio station promoting "Christmas disasters you have known". Folk were being invited to call in and tell the dark story of the very worst Christmas calamity they could recall. To illustrate this the presenter began sharing some of the the awful things that some callers had told him about already. There was the family who found that their dishwasher broke down on Christmas Day, the home where the oven packed up on the special day forcing them to take their festive dinner to a neighbour to cook - and even one home where oven breakdown led to a barbecued turkey!

Once I had calmed down from my indignation I thought about some of the Christmases we have known - they certainly weren't all white, whatever Bing Crosby sang. There was the Christmas Day where I was called to the local hospital just before lunch to be with the dying husband of a church member. And then there was the turkey meal I couldn't enjoy because I had an attack of acute pancreatitis in the morning and by the time the Queen's speech was over I was an in-patient and nil-by-mouth. Another Christmas I had a spell in a London hospital over the holiday season and was discharged late on Christmas Eve after the last flights home had gone. Diane and I stayed in a hotel where the kitchen closed on the day itself as did most of the restaurants nearby. But among the biggest calamities I recall was the one where a guy who worked in our home and garden in Zimbabwe wakened us early on the Christmas Eve to tell us that his new baby was dead. The little one had passed away during the night in his accommodation next to us. There being no undertakers or gravediggers available, we wrapped the little one and buried him in the bleak children's cemetery later that day as is the custom in hot countries. We were just grateful that our own boy was safely away with his grandparents in Guernsey for Christmas that year.

Christmas, you see, is not all about magic and nostalgia. It's about life in all its pain and trouble. The Son of God came into the world in a stinking animal shed, not a clean maternity room, and certainly not a palace. He was hunted down by Herod's killers before he could even walk. His family was forced to run for their lives and to seek asylum in Egypt. His coming into a messy, violent world was because we needed a saviour and deliverer from the addictions of  selfishness, materialism and greed. Life is not fair for millions this Christmas, not just for those whose white goods give out on the 24th or 25th. Their dinner may be in danger, but not their lives or their homes.

I hope you don't have a calamity this Christmas, but if you do, please know that it will not be out of keeping with the season, nor, I hope, will it be as bad as many will know. Thank God the coming of Christ was designed for just the sort of real world that many will experience. "Born to raise the sons of Earth - born to give them second birth. Hark, the herald angels sing, glory to the new born King!"

Light-bulb moment reveals 5 Ways to Well-being

I had a bit of a 'light-bulb' moment when visiting up at our local hospital this week. I picked up a leaflet entitled '5 Ways to Well-being'. In it I found a list of 5 practical suggestions which might help folk of my advancing years(!) to keep well and content. They also looked to me like the sort of good advice you would expect to find in a book of wisdom - like parts of the Bible - and I was intrigued to the point of wanting to share them with you.

1. CONNECT WITH OTHERS. I have found that chronic illness isolates the individual from helpful connections with other people. It seems to me that this is a strategy of Satan too - who hates those who trust God with real vehemence - and it is vital to well-being that we make the effort to be interested in others. I remember that a psychiatric nurse of many years' experience said "You don't have to be lonely if you live within reach of a lively church". Isolation saps spiritual energy and builds calluses in the soul. We were meant to be set with other coals in the fire of life. It burns well when all the coals are together but when one is spilled into the hearth it soon goes out. Return it to the rest and it glows again!


2. KEEP LEARNING. Whether your thing is bird-watching, model-making, or foreign languages, it is so vital to keep learning. Try something new. Return to an old interest. Sign up for that course. Learn a new skill in the kitchen or play a musical instrument. Get to grips with computers and digital gadgets. I studied for a degree and a PhD during prolonged periods of illness and they became my occupational therapy. We were made to learn. (I've got a hankering to learn Mandarin Chinese, now where could I find a course?)


3. BE ACTIVE. Go for a walk if you can, or get hold of a bike. Step outside and breathe some fresh air (unless you live in a city). Gardening, dance, exercise, football, swimming, whatever turns your light on! Of course, we must not endanger our health by too much activity - or our marriage - but research shows that keeping moving aids both mental and physical well-being.


4. TAKE NOTICE. I never cease being thrilled and moved by watching the sea. When in Cardiff I often walked alongside the River Taff. I can be touched by the sight of ducks, moved even by the beauty of a sunset (sunrises are long behind me!). Smell the flowering gorse, the salt air, and listen out for bird song. The lessons of what is called 'mindfulness' are many. Among them is the advice to live in the 'now moment'. We need to open our 5 senses to what is around us right now instead of regretting what we don't have. Gratitude should become our attitude too as we focus on the field in which God has planted us. And finally...


5. GIVE. The Bible teaches us to be gracious and generous with what we have and to look for opportunities to give to others. "It is more rewarding to give than to receive" though receiving is also good fun! Do something for someone else each day.  Maybe a smile in the supermarket queue, or an offer to pack for a mother struggling with little children. Make a brief call on an elderly person. And I like this from the leaflet "Do something nice for a friend or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time or energy. Join a community group." Well, I feel that the ideal community group is the local church, so maybe give that a go again this Christmas.

Bad news for 'those in peril on the sea'!

A similar boat from UK

Wow - there has been a mighty bust-up in Jersey between the Royal National Lifeboat Institute (RNLI) and the crew of the volunteer lifeboat in St Helier. As a result, the whole team there resigned, hoping to set up an independent rescue service. In a spectacular reaction to that, the RNLI removed their £3 million lifeboat, despite it having been paid for by appeals in Jersey! Already 2 lives could have been lost when a private boat being delivered to Guernsey hit a buoy and sank in minutes. Thankfully, the Jersey fire brigade was able to launch an inshore rescue rib and pluck them out of their dinghy, but it will only be a matter of time before the winter weather threatens the lives of others at sea.

I cannot take sides in that dispute as I have no idea of the causes and complaints of either party. Adequate cover is being given from the RNLI in Guernsey and similar in nearby France. What I do know is that this kind of split is not unusual in churches. Volunteers feel unappreciated and under-consulted about plans or change, and division and disunity can result. There can be personality clashes, inter family rivalry or misunderstanding, wherever busy people are giving their time free of charge in addition to work and the needs of children. Leaders sometimes take volunteers for granted (again – no inference here that this is what happened in Jersey) and can become weary of what they perceive as a lack of commitment among their volunteers.

William Booth had a dream. The founder of the Salvation Army saw in his mind a picture of the raging sea in a mighty storm.  People had been cast into that maelstrom and were starting to sink and drown. Then a group of what he called ‘Christian soldiers’ were leaning out from a large rock grasping the hands of those whom they could save. Lifeboats are not entertainment. They save lives and without them scores of people would have been lost around these islands’ waters and elsewhere. Eternal life without God is far worse than the immediate threat to those in peril on the sea.

Jersey cannot be without an all-weather lifeboat for long. Already both sides are preparing to replace the lost rescue vessel. If we as Christians don’t get our act together and start working as one, souls will perish without hope as a result. Please – RNLI and the Jersey crew – please at least recommence talks, as the potential cost of this dispute is too high. And 'Christian soldier' – let us do our volunteering and our leading in a culture of mutual honour, where respect and gratitude, with encouragement, prevent the kind of disputes and divisions that can cause the loss of precious souls. Because you - and they - are worth it!

Hope not Despair for the Battles of Life

Despair really is the abandonment of hope. In my book Braving the Storm I write about the German Underground Hospital built in Guernsey during World War 2. It was, in its day, the largest man-made underground structure in Europe, but today is a ruin only barely available to tourists who want to recall the Occupation. It is dark, smelly and eerie, with definite ghoulish factors to give goosebumps even to people who enjoy Halloween. It came into its own during the period after D-Day in June 1944, when these islands were cut off from the nearby continent and wounded soldiers from the front were shipped here for surgery and care. Almost immediately it was found to be useless as a place of renewal and healing. This was largely because of its dark underground design, and the total absence of natural light and warmth. They might just as well have written over the entrance "abandon hope all ye who enter here"!

Healing really does need hope, and the Bible says that "hope deferred makes the heart sick". The temptation to despair is something familiar to those of us who have fought long battles with chronic ill health. There surely must be similar pressure to despair in marital conflict, redundancy, or abuse. Once we dig our own bunker to hide in and determine to abandon hope we are in danger of the very cynicism and bitterness of soul that has destroyed people much more clever than we are. Despair poisons our emotions and robs us of peace. It trickles down into our spirits like the lime-stained seepage that mars the walls of the Underground Hospital. Ultimately it dethrones God in our hearts and is a form of what I also call in my books "sweet rebellion". This is usually present in the lives of people who have despaired of their situation, future or church, but are still running on fumes and acting like good, sweet Christians. Only a change of heart will heal. Only a change of language and attitude will bring the longed-for hope. The Bible calls that kind of thing repentance.

When the Jewish King David was going through a particularly wounding patch in his often troubled life, he refused to dig a bunker and despair. He wrote the immortal words of Psalm 42 - "Why are you so downcast, O my soul? why are you so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God." (v5) If you are reading this because you are tempted to dig a hole and despair I just want to urge you to think again. While there is a God in heaven there will be hope on Earth available to all who come humbly and desperate to Jesus Christ, our risen Lord. His Spirit and his words of hope can lift us up from a horrible pit even worse than the Nazis left in Guernsey.

The Privilege of Suffering and Believing

I have been so challenged and helped by a little book that Dr Helen Roseveare wrote before she died last year.  The manuscript was discovered after her death and has now been published. The title is "Count it all Joy" and is published by Christian Focus Publications. In it Helen recalls her 20 years of service as a missionary doctor working in the Congo. After 10 very difficult years there she was caught up in the Simba rebellion of the 1960's and was imprisoned with others for several months. She was brutally treated, beaten until they broke her teeth, and raped. Finally she was rescued by an international force re-asserting the government's rule. After time to recover at home in the UK, though, she went back to the place of her intense suffering and served a further decade there.

In this final manuscript Dr Roseveare prescribes for us some tough medicine to swallow. At the time of her dreadful suffering, during which she fully expected to die, she felt that God spoke to her - whether audibly or through her inner thoughts is not made clear. She felt that the Lord who had suffered so much for her on the cross, asked her if she would be willing for Him to trust her to go through these terrible experiences even if He never explained why.  She writes:"Somehow in the darkness of that appalling night, I managed to say to my dear Lord, 'I don't understand what you may be doing, or who can be helped through this ordeal... but yes, if you ask this of me, thank you for trusting me with this experience, even if you never tell me why'. Wow, what a prayer - and what a lady.

I don't make any pretense of having been through anything like as serious as what Dr Helen went through, or like any of my missionary friends and colleagues who were attacked and brutally killed, but I have known what it is to be "long-suffering" as you may be aware. I look back over 2 decades of the most dreadful pain and the nearness of death, not in the Congo but in over a hundred admissions to hospital seriously ill with one of the most painful diseases known to man. I believe that I have survived to this day for a reason. In her funeral address, the speaker (Louis Sutton, the International Director of her mission agency WEC) pointed out that Helen's favourite word was 'privilege'. She counted it a privilege to be a committed Christian, to serve others in the name of Christ, to be a missionary doctor, writer and speaker. But above all, she looked at her sufferings as a privilege.

If you are a reader I recommend any of Helen's books, but none more so than her last testimony. "Then, when we trust Jesus in our suffering, it will be a powerful sign that Christ is worthy of our absolute trust. And we can count it as a privilege." (Louis Sutton). Please help me rise to that place, Lord, even though you may never tell me why.

The Big 'A'?

Wow - I don't like being too apocalyptic (who does?) but today even the Daily Mail has used the word. Its report of yesterdays strange atmospheric phenomena over the Channel Islands and right up to the north of England warns "Apocalypse now!" I must confess that it was eerie. It felt like an unscheduled eclipse of the sun.  Mind you, early in the morning I thought it was the moon we were looking at but soon realised that it was rising in the eastern sky so it must be the sun. Across these islands automatic street lights came on in the daytime (we don't have such things in my part of Guernsey but Jersey does). An iridescent orange hue covered most of us through the day. Spooky or what?

My best theory is the Saharan dust one plus the Iberian smoke from wild fires. The two came together to show us these strange events. Today it is passing, though some are reporting a strong smell of burning, smoke or ash in the air.

The Bible does address these kind of things, speaking of the end of time. In Luke 21:25  Jesus said; "And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring".  When the apostle Peter was speaking on the Day of Pentecost he said this: ..."the sun turning black and the moon blood-red, before the Day of the Lord arrives, the Day tremendous and marvelous". I reckon that the physical events of yesterday show us two things. One, how the Bible predictions could easily come about, maybe even quite soon, and two that people do think deep and even spiritual thoughts when they see something like this happening.

Taking the Bible at its word, though, its biggest forecast is that one day Jesus Christ will come again. Our responsibility is to be ready for that day which, if yesterday felt "apocalyptic", will prove to have been as nothing compared to the real thing. The events of Monday certainly got us all looking upwards and Christian believers may have recalled the words of Jesus again "When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near." (Lu 21:28)

Surgery for the Soul

Since my pancreas was removed, together with my spleen, and the 'Islets of Langerhan' previously housed in the pancreas were transplanted into my liver, my life has changed. Gone is the dreadful pancreatic pain of the last 20+ years, and gone is the fear of yet another admission to hospital with an attack of acute pancreatitis. I think over 100 such admissions in the last 20 years is enough for anyone! One of the things that has changed for me, apart from the obvious joy of hoping to travel and maybe preach again from early next year, is the need to regularly check my blood glucose levels. At the moment I need to do this 8 times daily. I also have to inject Insulin for possibly up to 6 months until the Islets develop their own blood supply in the liver where they have been placed.

This constant checking before meals and 2 hours after and even during the night, is to prevent glucose rising to levels (9+ mol) that could damage the transplant. I really don't want to do anything that would undo the wonderful work that was done in me by Professor White and his team. Yet checking is an annoying practice causing my poor fingers to protest at all this blood-letting! I can tell by this though that all is well with my amazing surgical outcome.

I don't believe that God wants his children to be constantly looking inward or navel-gazing but I do recognise the need for occasional checking in my spiritual life too.  This is just to see that we are not doing any harm to the wonderful work that God has done in us when he saved us.  I recall that few lines from the hymnbook of ancient Israel, the book of Psalms, that says "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (Ps 139:23-24). Jesus also initiated what we know as the communion service or Eucharist, and in it we are told to examine our hearts and see if all is well with God's work within us.

I am glad that the Professor's work in me has been so successful this far, but I am more glad that God has also begun a work in me that offers me new life and a new start each day. After saying farewell to a dear friend at her funeral service last week, I am also glad that this work in us leads on into everlasting life.  Surgery for the soul if you like!