Need a hug today?

I spent a few days as a patient in my local hospital a few months ago and watched a very moving scene. I was near the nursing station and opposite me was a bay containing a couple of elderly men obviously struggling with the effects of dementia. One of them was very vocal, night and day, much to the annoyance of others. He was also quite mobile, wandering the unit and bothering staff and patients alike in his confusion.

One morning he was standing unsteadily beside his bed obviously trying to dress himself and failing to manage the buttons on a shirt. I watched as a young nurse, dressed in the dark blue of a senior staff nurse, placed herself directly in front of him, taking the time to button up each one of them for him. Unexpectedly, she then reached out to embrace him and hugged him at length as if he was her own father! I was deeply moved by the demonstration of such love from this skilled professional, and the patient seemed strangely quietened and comforted by it too. The hug was not prescribed medicine, but it did appear to be effective. It was care without reserve, compassion without embarrassment. 

Human beings thrive on physical connections, and hugging is one of the most powerful ways to show physical support. Babies do well when they are touched and held. It appears that there is no better way of showing them our love and care, helping them to feel protected and cherished. This continues through life, even though the traditional British stiff upper lip of years ago played down the importance of outward displays of affection. 

Some studies have shown that hugging and being hugged can relieve stress levels, even lowering blood pressure. It can also boost self-esteem at all stages in life, and in the case of the nurse even managed to convey her compassion and love when the normal faculties had been reduced by the scourge of dementia. A hug can also communicate feelings of safety, love, and connection to a greater community. When we are feeling down or lost, a hug can help ground us and remind us that we belong.

Hugging improves relationships. This is largely because it is another form of communication that can transmit messages and feelings that words can’t. It’s a deeper, more intimate level of connection that you simply don’t get from talking. A Christian counsellor I know even suggested that we need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 for growth!

The Bible has a lot to say about hugging. When brothers Jacob and Esau had been through a major breach, falling out over inheritance, their emotional reconciliation was sealed with a hug in the book of Genesis. The same happened when Joseph was reunited with the brothers who had betrayed him into slavery in Egypt and he could not refrain from hugging them. When St Paul was leaving Ephesus for the last time in the book of Acts, a whole lot of people lined up to hug him.

But the best portrayal of the power of hugging comes from Jesus himself. He told the story of a young man who took his share of his father’s money and wasted it in a far country with a binge of extravagant and reckless living. Finally, he ended up penniless, working for a pig-farmer. When he came to his senses in the pigsty he realised that he needed to go home to his father but was really scared about how he would be received. While he was still a long way off, however, the Dad saw him and ran out to hug and kiss his rebellious boy. The embrace of forgiveness and acceptance was enough to change the young man for ever.

A church I know about handed out cards with this message: ‘Hugging feels good, dispels loneliness, chases fear, builds self-esteem, slows down ageing, eases tension, exercises arm muscles, and is environmentally friendly. Hugging is portable, energy efficient, free at the point of use, makes even happy days happier, and saves heat!’ 

Maybe we should all wear a badge saying, ‘I need a hug today’!

 

Herald of Hope or Prophet of Doom?

Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash

"Discouragement is both dangerous and contagious. It is one of the devil’s most potent tools, because it mutes truth and muffles hope. Do you tend to be a prophet of doom? How might you be a herald of hope instead?" These words in my daily Bible reading notes⃰, got me thinking this morning. How much am I encouraging others? What proportion of my interaction with others, whether online or in person, gives someone else support, confidence, or hope? (This is the dictionary definition of 'encouragement').

These are tough times. With regard to the pandemic, the way ahead is not yet clear, though there are positive signs. It is not likely that we will see significant inroads into death tolls and hospital admissions with Covid-19 until well into the year, but hopefully by Easter. Whether that leads on to the restoration of 'normal life' is less likely in the short term. Travel and hospitality are bound to be impacted by the last 12 months, and large gatherings and social events are probably going to be treated with suspicion for some time to come.

But - better days are ahead! History teaches us that. The Spanish flu epidemic of 100 years ago did pass off after 18 months or so, and without a vaccine. The devastation caused by the two great wars of the 20th Century was overcome in Europe. The terrors of SARS and AIDS took a dreadful toll, but are now fading in the face of advances in medicine and lifestyle.

I happen to be married to one of life's great encouragers! For nearly 50 years Diane has brought laughter, warmth, hope and encouragement to me, through some of the darkest times imaginable. From being at my bedside in dingy, Dickensian hospital wards in London, to holding my hand through long periods of unconsciousness, this lady chose to be a 'herald of hope'. I salute her for that, and want to be like her. 

The greatest reason to encourage my own soul, and those of others, is the assurance that God is still in control of this universe and that He has a plan for its future. An old cliché rejoices that 'the future is as bright as the promises of God' and I believe it. God has an exciting plan for your life, and mine, and though it may involve passage through storms, the outcome is not in doubt. With Christ, better days are definitely ahead! 

⃰ https://content.scriptureunion.org.uk/wordlive/god-will-save-his-people