Doing it Afraid - Again!

It's never easy to face surgery again. I say again because of the number of times I have been through this before. Going into the theatre and lying down for this particular procedure on the table, waiting for them to put me out, is a very lonely place to be. It's always very cold due to the extreme air-conditioning and the fact that the poor patient is virtually naked under a thin surgical gown.  As each of the people present introduce themselves to me one by one their names go immediately out of my mind because I am TERRIFIED! I smile politely at each of them a bit like Mary Queen of Scots is said to have tipped her executioner so that he would make a good job of it with his axe. I am always reminded of the old gospel song that goes "You've got to walk that lonesome valley, You gotta walk there by yourself.  And no-one else can go there for you, You gotta go there by yourself!"

Yet I am not alone, not really alone. Once a long time ago, when one of these very same ops had put me into Intensive Care for several weeks, and I came very near to death (another reason why I get so scared!!), I felt the presence of Jesus very real with me indeed. In the midst of my terrifying ordeal, and very near the end, I felt him come to me and imagined that I could feel him sitting on the bed. You may think it was the drugs that caused all that but I know differently. There was something supernatural about the calm that came into my fevered mind and my pain-wracked body at that moment.  I wrote about it in my book Braving the Storm. It changed my whole life at that time and it still has an effect today.  Because on Monday, when I lie down on that table and they are inserting tubes and lines into all manner of orifices and veins, I will hush my heart with the image of the face of Christ, and remind myself of his words 'Lo, I will be with you always, even to the end of the age'.

And I will get through it.  Not without fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the will to go through despite one's fear. As Joyce Meyer says often in her television broadcasts, I will be 'doing it afraid'. And that's the only way to do it really. Honestly!

What are you Wearing Today?

My wife tells me that changing seasons are a real nightmare for a lady! Getting the right clothes for the new weather patterns can be very challenging especially when, as at present in the UK, the seasons are sort of blending into one. As for me I don't worry at all about seasons and my decisions on what I wear each day are largely made on whatever is nearest to the wardrobe door! I seldom think about what to wear and certainly don't spend long choosing - well there's not a lot to choose from for us blokes, is there?

In my Bible reading today I found a real challenge to think more deeply about what to put on today. Colossians chapter 3 describes some of the ways in which First Century Christians lived before they started following Christ and how that changed once their faith started affecting the things they "put on" daily. "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." (Col. 3:8-9) That is a wardrobe of clothes as ugly as the bottom of an eagle's nest after dinner time! Those are the old tattered garments of a life lived without Christ and with no concern for others or their feelings.

Within a few lines, though, the author of the New Testament letter shows the contrasting outfit that Christian believers are invited to "put on" each day. "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity". (Col. 3:12-14). Now that really would bring about a new season in my dress code!

So as we face the world today, let's choose what we will wear from the wardrobe of faith and peace that Jesus holds open before us. It will lead to peace in our hearts (vs 15), unity in local churches, and a powerful sense of Christ's lingering presence in the world reflected in the lives of his modern day disciples.

Walking by Faith

As you can imagine from this photo we are really besotted with our tiny Pomeranian dog - Paprika! She weighs only 2kg but has a much bigger personality than that. In fact she seems quite convinced that she is in charge of our home and that anyone entering it should obtain her permission first!  That can cause just a little stress to folk visiting the Pastor. Paprika is 11 now and in doggy years that makes her well up in her seventies in human equivalent years, so she is an old lady (only don't you dare say that within her earshot).

Recently this adorable little friend suffered a slipped disc in her neck - the week after I cancelled her pet insurance because the premium was becoming too high!  When I asked the vet how long we might have to keep bringing her back for injections she mumbled something about it being until her extension is paid off! Seriously though, the really sad part about this is to see our dear dog struggling to walk and even stand.  The messages are just not getting through to her legs from her head. She has good days and bad days but when things are really poor we have to hold her up to eat and do other necessary things.

We don't know how this will go but are resigned to the fact that we won't have our darling doggy much longer, as Pomeranians don't usually live as long as some breeds anyway. I have thought a lot about her condition and I feel there is a lesson for me in her dilemma.  The Bible teaches that Christ is our head - the head of the body which is his church (1 Corinthians 12) and that we need to be in clear contact with him if we are to be able to walk the path of faith in this life.  Thankfully when we do struggle and fall heavenly hands are there to lift us and hold us up, but God's best for us is to hear the commands of Christ clearly and follow them.  In this, then, as in nature, we walk by good communication with the head.

And I'm still praying that Paprika will improve too.  After all, if it matters to me then it matters to God!