My New Years’ resolutions are already in tatters. Unlike the Christmas trees that were mulched recently that will at least benefit the environment by their swift passing, my resolutions are not doing me much good already. My path into 2023 was paved with good intentions, until the tarmac of daily reality spread its bland choking cover over most of them. Ah well, try again next year I suppose.
But there is one thing that I am resolved to do this year and that is be kinder to myself! Now, in case of being misunderstood, let me explain. Jesus once famously said ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. In other words, if you don’t love yourself you are not going to have much to offer your neighbour. As the flight attendants on the holiday flight jets put it during their safety briefings, ‘you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else’.
I have always struggled to put into practice the second part of this command of Jesus. I come from a tradition that teaches that if you want joy – JOY – then it comes from putting Jesus first, others next and yourself last of all. The problem with that is that sometimes you just can’t put others before yourself simply because you are exhausted and have nothing left to give.
Huge numbers of people have limped into 2023 utterly exhausted. We are tired from nearly three years of fighting a global pandemic that threatened to kill us, along with the grief felt for the millions who did die from it. Having spent huge amounts of time isolated from human company, travel and seeing family and friends, has taken its toll. Our children have missed out so much socially and even educationally. Our confidence in governments and institutions has taken a pounding. People to whom we thought we owed our life and safety have now disappeared from public view or worse still, are grubbing around on reality tv shows. Even royalty is taxing our patience and trust.
And what of this New Year? A cost-of-living crisis that scares most sensible people and a virtual general strike in the UK, and all this against the backcloth of a cruel war in Ukraine that is tugging at all our bank balances as well as our hearts. Thank God there are signs of hope in the strength of communities like our own where we do gather round those in need, but even here in Guernsey the gap between those who have a lot, and those who have little or nothing, is getting wider.
So, let’s pause, breathe, and remember where we have come from. And let’s be grateful that we are not alone. If we remind ourselves of who we are and where we have been, we should be thankful for what we have overcome. In some ways it is amazing that we are still going (I often think that when I look back over my long journey with chronic ill health and multiple hospitalisations). The Bible says: ‘It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his loving-kindness begins afresh each day’.
Understanding this brings us peace, but it also helps us to have compassion, upon ourselves and on others. Most of the world’s citizens need a little extra kindness at the moment. So, instead of berating myself for messing up the diet, or failing to read as often, run every day, plunge myself into cold water and so on, or even pray as much as I had hoped, I am determined to tread gently, to go more slowly, into this year. Maybe that will even help me see the needs of others around me more clearly, as well as have the resources to do something about them in time.
Amidst the chaos and demands of modern life, try to find space for small pockets of silence. Allow the healing you need to do its own God-given work in your weary mind and body. Be kind to yourself and discover the stream of love that flows from the heart of God above. Give yourself a break!
