Feeling Between a Rock & a Hard Place?

 

Are you feeling like you're between a rock and a hard place? Well, welcome to 'Twixmas' - that annual period between Christmas and the New Year holidays when everything seems to shut down! The glories of the festive season are behind us now, and the wonder and nostalgia that coloured the whole period in pastel shades of emotion and reminiscence, are past. In their place is the nagging feeling that we may have overdone it in the eating or drinking department, or both, and certainly the awareness that our wallets are a great deal lighter than they were a month ago! Hmm, the real reason for the season may be slipping away like a burning sunset - glorious in its time but hard to take into the next day.

And then there's the future, growing and growling before us like some kind of new family pet - will it bite us or be the best friend we have ever had? And what about this enormous number - 2024? Where did that come from? They just don't make these years the same size as they used to. I have only just got used to putting a 20 instead of a 19 in front of my year dates and suddenly we are nearly a quarter of the way through a new century! And just like the last one, it is marked by wars and rumours of wars, pandemics, eruptions, earthquakes and the enemy that eats holes in all our purses - inflation. 

The past and the future do loom over us and can make us very afraid. Thankfully there are resources that we can take hold of, even in this in-between period that can be so scary. For the past we need to discover the power of forgiveness. We need it for ourselves in case we feel that we could have done better. But we also need a store of it to give away. Forgiveness only really works if you share it. Being forgiven is not a solo sport. Getting to know Jesus brings us closer to the biggest store of forgiveness in the universe. His doors don't just open on Boxing Day for the sales, they are wide open the whole year round. 

And for the future? Well, there's a ready source of wisdom and help to face all that lies ahead in the book that is still the world's best seller - the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 was written to Israel hundreds of years ago, but gives us insight into how God wants to help us face all that's coming: 'For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'. And then there is one of the most reassuring verses in the book of Psalms, 37:5 'Give yourself to the Lord; trust in him, and he will help you'.

So, this 'Twixmas', and as we prepare to face the New Year whatever it might bring, why not give God your past and your future, and see what he can do with them. When stuck between a rock and a hard place, the only thing you can really do is look up!

Go Easy on Yourself!

My New Years’ resolutions are already in tatters. Unlike the Christmas trees that were mulched recently that will at least benefit the environment by their swift passing, my resolutions are not doing me much good already. My path into 2023 was paved with good intentions, until the tarmac of daily reality spread its bland choking cover over most of them. Ah well, try again next year I suppose.

But there is one thing that I am resolved to do this year and that is be kinder to myself! Now, in case of being misunderstood, let me explain. Jesus once famously said ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. In other words, if you don’t love yourself you are not going to have much to offer your neighbour. As the flight attendants on the holiday flight jets put it during their safety briefings, ‘you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else’.

I have always struggled to put into practice the second part of this command of Jesus. I come from a tradition that teaches that if you want joy – JOY – then it comes from putting Jesus first, others next and yourself last of all. The problem with that is that sometimes you just can’t put others before yourself simply because you are exhausted and have nothing left to give.

Huge numbers of people have limped into 2023 utterly exhausted. We are tired from nearly three years of fighting a global pandemic that threatened to kill us, along with the grief felt for the millions who did die from it. Having spent huge amounts of time isolated from human company, travel and seeing family and friends, has taken its toll. Our children have missed out so much socially and even educationally. Our confidence in governments and institutions has taken a pounding. People to whom we thought we owed our life and safety have now disappeared from public view or worse still, are grubbing around on reality tv shows. Even royalty is taxing our patience and trust.

And what of this New Year? A cost-of-living crisis that scares most sensible people and a virtual general strike in the UK, and all this against the backcloth of a cruel war in Ukraine that is tugging at all our bank balances as well as our hearts. Thank God there are signs of hope in the strength of communities like our own where we do gather round those in need, but even here in Guernsey the gap between those who have a lot, and those who have little or nothing, is getting wider.

So, let’s pause, breathe, and remember where we have come from. And let’s be grateful that we are not alone. If we remind ourselves of who we are and where we have been, we should be thankful for what we have overcome. In some ways it is amazing that we are still going (I often think that when I look back over my long journey with chronic ill health and multiple hospitalisations). The Bible says: ‘It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his loving-kindness begins afresh each day’. 

Understanding this brings us peace, but it also helps us to have compassion, upon ourselves and on others. Most of the world’s citizens need a little extra kindness at the moment. So, instead of berating myself for messing up the diet, or failing to read as often, run every day, plunge myself into cold water and so on, or even pray as much as I had hoped, I am determined to tread gently, to go more slowly, into this year. Maybe that will even help me see the needs of others around me more clearly, as well as have the resources to do something about them in time.

Amidst the chaos and demands of modern life, try to find space for small pockets of silence. Allow the healing you need to do its own God-given work in your weary mind and body. Be kind to yourself and discover the stream of love that flows from the heart of God above. Give yourself a break!

 

It's Time to Put it Away!

 

It's been a tough old year! With war in Europe and threats of nuclear conflict hot on the heels of a global pandemic it could hardly have been anything else! But, for the Queen to die, and the British government to crash the currency and the economy on the way through three Prime Ministers - yes it has been tough. Now, on the brink of the New Year, it's time to put it away.

I love New Year. Christmas is good but New Year is better! (Don't tell anyone in my church I said that!) Yes, I know that nothing beats the coming of Christ into the world to save and heal all who follow him, but there's a whole lot of good stuff about making a new start in the Bible too.

In fact, God is described in the last book of the scriptures as 'the One who makes everything new' (Rev 21:5). St Paul also once wrote that if any person becomes a Christian 'the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!' (2 Cor. 5:17). So, God is in favour of us making a new start. Like a child at school opening a brand new excercise book, we get to start over in 2023. But there are problems -

Fear is a big one! We have taken such a pounding in the last couple of years that we can hardly be blamed for being scared, but fear is not just the opposite of faith, its the enemy of it too. Jesus taught a lot about fear because he understood its power to hold people back, even to destroy them. There are 366 'fear nots' in the Bible, one for every day plus one for a leap year! God doesn't want fear to make the decisions around here. Let faith in Christ be your choice and you will find that fear is lessened, and with time and God's help, can be overcome completely.

Exhaustion is another one. I saw this in a Facebook post the other day: 'A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted… None of us began this year on a full tank.  Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years  (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes… 

We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence… 

And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to “catch up” in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life… ' So, after all we have been through, that's why you might feel exhausted. Here are some wonderful words from Jesus about exhaustion.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:29 The Message)

 Loneliness is a big contender! A psychiatrist friend of mine warned me during the pandemic lockdowns that there would be a pandemic of loneliness after this! We must do something about this, but God has done so in setting the solitary into families - church families. I know you might not want to read this, but you don't have to be lonely if there's a really good lively church community nearby. Get there and check them out if you can, or at least take a peek at their Livestream (for my own church search YouTube for 'Vazon Church'). But let's face it, loneliness really hurts and can be fatal. There are lonely people around us all. Let's ask God for eyes to see them and a heart to care enough to reach out to them in 2023. 

So, I'm quite relieved to put 2022 into its sack and move on, aren't you? When it comes - have a Happy New Year!

The Rattling of God's Bucket

I was passing by a field near our home in which a Guernsey farmer keeps his sheep. Sheep are not common in our island, where the Guernsey cow has pretty much dominated the fields and farms for so long, but this is one of the more remarkable flocks. The sheep are black and white speckled in colour and have long horns. some of those horns are twisted and give these guys and girls a somewhat hostile appearance.

I was surprised by their posture. Normally they are spread out across the meadow engaged in avid grass consumption. This time, they were stretched out in a line, all turned to look intently towards the farmer's house, situated about 500 metres away down the lane. They ignored me and everything around them as they clearly only had eyes for one thing - their shepherd - but he was nowhere in sight.

As I moved on and passed his home, Tony the farmer was walking out on his way to the field. In his hand he held a metal bucket containing animal feed. Either those sheep had heard the rattling of his bucket, or else they were aware of the time day that he normally came. Whatever, these sheep were looking intently for their shepherd to come.

Are you, as a Christian, looking for the coming again of the Good Shepherd? The Bible says we should be (Titus 2:13). And are we listening out for what God is preparing to do in our day? This is the rattling of God's bucket. It may be faint and distant, but if we are looking to God and listening for Him too, we should be positioning ourselves to be ready.

Do you hear that bucket rattle?

Happy New Year.

When I read these words on New Year's Day, I wept.

Early on New Year’s Day I was looking through my favourite version of the Bible for inspiration after a difficult Christmas period. I had been up to A & E over the special season, including on Christmas Day itself, and in touch with my GP twice in the space of four days or so. I endured the usual diet of overwhelming pain, fever, the rigors, extreme nausea – all the signs of a classic flare-up of my old enemy chronic pancreatitis. I say “old” because it was Christmas 1995 when I was admitted to hospital in Cardiff for the first of what would become over 100 such admissions in the last two decades.  Twenty years of frustration, struggle, and the loss of my ministry due to no fault of my own. It’s starting to get to me as you might well imagine.

And then I came across this promise of hope. God, speaking to His people Israel in the Old Testament, promised them that “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25). Wow, that really hit home to my discouraged heart. Years ago, when we lived and worked in Africa, we were hit by a small locust swarm one evening. With the sound of an approaching express train it descended on a large bush in our garden and stripped the lot in seconds. When it lifted, like a swarm of hornets into the air, what had been a large and fruitful shrub was left a desolate collection of bare branches.

Maybe you have faced the hordes of locusts too. Whatever length of time has gone by, you probably can’t forget the sense of grief and loss you feel at opportunities denied you, relationships gone sour, loved ones taken away in their prime. The ‘not fairness’ of life takes its toll on us all, whatever the cause of the pain.

God knows our distress and hears our cry, even in the dark of the night. The Bible says in typically pictorial language that He keeps all our tears in His bottle. He must need a tanker for mine! I don’t know if the locust swarm will leave me in 2016 though I sincerely hope it does – but if not, this promise of God keeps me going as I start a third decade. “I will restore to you [place your name here] the years that the locusts have eaten”!

I don’t know how, or when, but I do know who will achieve this, and I’m holding on to Him for dear life!

Happy New Year!

Change of Plan

As 2015 begins we islanders are being faced with a bracing rash of road closures. Routes that have been long part of local travel-lore are suddenly shut to us as pipes burst, mains need laying, cables require maintenance and surfaces damaged by flooding and heavy lorries require renewal. So with the usual dogged perseverance we accept the inevitable and fume in line as we waste time and fuel on long finger-tapping diversions. The good thing is that nowhere over here is far and we will all get there in the end, we just may need to take the scenic route for a while!

Recalling my long habit of getting very frustrated by diversions and sudden changes of plan I remember one wag suggesting that such things are sent to enable our souls to catch up with our bodies. I doubt very much that my soul is far behind my body these days as I have slowed down considerably, but there is a lesson in this for me anyhow. These changes of my plan are not unplanned - it's just a different plan!  There is a higher power who knows what he is about even if I don't!  I was supposed to be having surgery this January at the Princess Elizabeth hospital in Guernsey but the anesthetist decided I was too unfit to proceed. Apparently I need to get back to London and face another of these difficult and dangerous pancreatic procedures to replace yet another prematurely blocked stent. I can feel my soul trying to tell me to calm down and keep trusting.

So it is more of the same in this New Year. All I pray is that I may know him more clearly and follow him more nearly so that my diversions will be guided by His all seeing eye. Happy New Year!

Making a New Start!

I love New Year! It's a great opportunity every year to draw a line under all that is past and start again. For me, 2013 has been a very difficult year marked by pain, the loss of dear friends, disappointment in others, family sadness at watching our only grandchild struggle her way through the challenging early months of her life, and the uphill task of trying to walk the journey of faith in a hostile culture. Yet, New Year brings with it a burst of hope, optimism and cheer that heartens me greatly and causes me to thank God that he is the God who describes himself with the words 'behold I am making all things new!'.

Far more significant than the date on the calendar, though, is the assurance within that God is still in charge - not man, not the doctors, nor the politicians and thankfully not me! He has not vacated the throne of the universe as so many want us to believe, but instead is working out his sovereign purposes for his glory and our eternal good. Romans 8:28 is still in my bible - "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (ESV)

During the Christmas period I have been encouraged by the writing of Ian Coffey whom I look forward to welcoming to Guernsey and to Eldad Church in January.  In his book Shock and Awe (BRF, Abingdon, 2009) he quotes a prayer for today: "God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, whose years never fail and whose mercies are new each returning day: let the radiance of your Spirit renew our lives, warming our hearts and giving light to our minds: that we may pass the coming year in joyful obedience and firm faith; through him who is the beginning and the end, your Son Christ our Lord. Amen"

A New Start

Coastal View of Guernsey

At the start of this new year I am so grateful to God for the year that has just ended and really looking forward with hope too. After 15 years of dreadful pain and repeated hospital admissions, with horrible experiences of life-threatening situations and disappointments too numerous to mention, it is such a relief to say that things are better now.  This time last year I started full-time work again after over 4 years of being unable to function and the time since then has been full of joy and challenges. We have been given a new start and a new opportunity after so many years of struggle. I am thankful for the love of family and friends and the prayers of so many.  Life has certainly taken on a new dimension for me, in that every day seems so precious and each moment a gift from heaven.

I do feel very keenly for those who still struggle with the kind of pain and difficulties I have known and much worse besides.  'Survivor guilt' is a phrase you might have heard and it describes the feelings of those who have come through dreadful circumstances where others have not and it can be a part of what is now known as post-traumatic stress syndrome.  Well, maybe I don't go that far, but I do feel a deep sense of compassion for my fellow travelers on the pathway of pain and hope that my books and preaching may in some small way contribute to helping them.

May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him; and may you overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).  Happy New Year!

Fatter but not Fitter

Wow - was I ever that thin?  Diane hasn't changed a bit, of course, but did they feed students at Elim Bible College in the early 1970's?  I think not.

One of the joys of my recovery from the awful pain of chronic pancreatitis is that I can now eat without agony. Great when you are celebrating Christmas but not so great when New Year comes.  Now I definitely feel the pinch as my belt asks 'are you sure about this?' and there is a lot less view of my feet than there used to be. I reckon I am not alone in this.  The millions spent on the Weight Watchers' advert on UK TV testify to the commonality of this problem.  We are all getting fatter - well many of us are - but are we getting any fitter?  The difference is down to an increase in the weight of accumulated fat and fluid as against the weight of muscle tissue.  The former makes flab whilst the latter is 'fab' (still thinking 1970's!).

Then, how about my faith?  Is it flabby and tired or growing in effective muscle-weight?  What causes muscle growth in the Kingdom of Heaven?  Well, I suppose, much the same as in every other human realm.  Exercise and diet, all part of a healthy lifestyle.  Wait a minute though, exercise hurts.  It only does your muscles any good, apparently, if it does hurt.  Maybe that's why the experiences we go through that cause us to grow spiritually are all the painful ones?  Diet is all a matter of self-control.  No easy answers there then, no matter what the adverts promise us.  So maybe a good diet for my faith requires similar self-control: taking care about what I watch, what I read and who I mix with.  Mmm.

I think churches need to ask similar questions.  Are we getting fatter or fitter?  If congregations grow at the expense of other surrounding churches then they may just be getting fat!  What they need is more muscle-weight.  People of robust faith exercising it more!  And doing so in an atmosphere of love and grace.

So - what about you this New Year?  Fatter or fitter?