Air Freshener or Fly Spray?

We keep our air fresheners in the smelliest places in the house.  There they are, right where they are needed.  Personally I don't like the kind of fragrances they usually pretend to have - lavender, flowers of the field, or lemon.  Why can't they go for freshly baked bread, roasting coffee or Bar B Q?  Mind you, I think some of the good old Anglo-Saxon smells produced in some of the places that we keep them are probably to be preferred to the scented variety!  Never-the-less we do buy air freshener and we keep it right where it is most needed.

Those of us who are recipients of God's grace are called to be grace dispensers right where He has placed us. Like air fresheners we are called to be givers of grace wherever we are.  There is a verse in the New Testament that says that 'Christ through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him'.

Sometimes you might be forgiven for thinking that Christians are more like Fly Killer - they see something moving and ZZZap!  Any previously undiscovered life and Whack!  Sadly our image is dented and some folk think of us as 'the bank that loves to say NO'!  But wait - it was never meant to be this way.  Maybe we need to draw more deeply ourselves from God's well of amazing grace and then we would have enough to give away.  Then we may find that God chooses to keep us right next to the smelliest of places.  So if the whiff where you are is a bit rich, perhaps you have been selected for the unique bit of 'climate change' that only Christ can bring - through you.

Air freshener or fly killer?  Ask those around you.

Does it Matter that we Pray?

Well it certainly seems to matter to these two anyway! Both their faces display such an earnest intensity that I am sure they will get results!  Sometimes, though, we can feel like we are wasting our breath.  When things don't work out as we had hoped - or even become worse than before we prayed - discouragement sets in.  Throughout my long and painful battle with serious ill health I had spells of wonderring if there was any point praying about it any more.  I understood the attitude taken by some (like Jennifer Rees-Larcombe just before she was healed) who say 'enough is enough' and decide not to seek or receive prayer for healing because of their many disappointments.  'Hope deferred makes the heart sick' says the Book of Proverbs and maybe it colours our prayers also.

But wait.  God in His sovereignty has decided to work through the prayers of those who trust in Him.  He didn't have to do that but he did so in order that we might receive 'training for reigning' in this life. Prayer creates a channel for the Holy Spirit to work in both the situation prayed for and the one doing the praying.  It changes things and us!  When I was really ill there were long periods when I couldn't pray for myself.  I was too weak and too sad to do so.  That was when I learned the power of a praying wife!  Also, I was carried on the prayers of loving Christian believers in many lands and churches.  So, let's join dogs and boys to keep on keeping on in prayer.  'People ought to pray always and not to give up'!  Hang in there!

Into the Sunset

A long vigil has ended and the sun has set over the life of a much loved mother and grandmother, Gill.  I spent time with her family around her bed at the local hospice last night, not long before she died. It was impressive to see their devotion to her and their care for one another in their grief.  Their ordeal had gone on over several nights and was preceded by weeks of pain for Gill and increasing awareness that the end was coming. The call that came in the night summonsed me away from my bed and into one of those pastoral situations that are so deeply challenging, especially when the one in the bed is younger than the Pastor!  I think that perhaps the long exposure to serious ill health that I have known has in some ways prepared me to be of more use than some might be in the same circumstances.  I certainly hope so.

One thing has changed this sunset for me, and I know it did for Gill.  Some weeks ago she sent a message to me via her doctor asking me to visit her in her hospice room.  She knew her time was coming and she wanted to get right with God. 'I want to be ready', she said, fixing my gaze with her steady, determined eyes.  She did not need religious ritual or fancy prayers, and I didn't give her any.  She needed Jesus in her trial, and when we bowed to pray she handed her life over to Him, asking for His forgiveness and inviting Him in.  Through our tears it was clear that she understood what she was doing.  She was ready then, because Jesus said 'whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life' (John 5:24).

So, goodnight Gill.  See you in the morning.

The High Price of Pain

The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, has led tributes from countless people who were shocked and saddened this week by the tragic death of PC David Rathband.  This brave policeman was brutally attacked by a fugitive from justice who had declared war on the police, Raoul Moat. Pc Rathband was shot twice by Moat, in the face and the shoulder, as he sat in his patrol car on the outskirts of Newcastle in July 2010. He spent 17 days in hospital and despite several operations to restore his eyesight he was still classed as being "black blind". Sue Sim, Chief Constable of Northumbria Police, said PC Rathband's life had "changed forever" when he was shot by Moat. "David showed outstanding bravery in what was a terrifying situation," she added. "He was a dedicated officer who acted in the best traditions of the police service."

What strikes me about the case, apart from the fact that David was the victim of a cruel and heartless attacker, was the discovery that he was also suffering immense physical pain since the attack.  I believe that it was this, combined with his devastating loss of sight, that brought him to an end of his resources.  As someone who suffered more than 15 years of chronic debilitating pain I feel great sympathy for this dear man who gave himself in the service of his community.

I hope that the manner of David's death, and the notoriety of his attacker (now also dead incidentally) will not detract from the memory of his self-less bravery and sense of public service.  I also hope that it will not discourage others who are coming to terms with sudden blindness or awful pain and who wonder if they can go on.  Above all, I hope that the publicity surrounding David's case will raise the profile of the problem of chronic pain and bring it back to the gaze of those who control health budgets and public purses.  Certainly in my case, the tens of thousands of pounds spent by my Health Authority to give me pain relief by means of a spinal neuro-stimulator has been a real life-saver - literally.

Hope When Your Situation seems Hopeless

Last Sunday evening my wife Diane spoke at the evening service at Eldad Elim Church in the capital of Guernsey, St Peter Port, where we have the joy of serving God at the moment.  Diane is not a preacher by choice, but she is by gift and anointing (so I tell her!).  In any case she is well qualified to speak about Psalm 42 and the impact that it made upon her life during the 15 years we have battled with serious ill health and the many years in which she also fought crippling anxiety and depression.  It was such a joy for me to listen to her tell how God's Word and His promises were the bedrock of her hope and perseverance under immense pressure.

In this message she told of the significant place of music in her own journey and in particular her joy of singing.  This is something that even our neighbours have commented upon!  She also told of her periods of seeking God in the many hospitals we have been in and how the Lord used her in those difficult situations.

Through it all this talk gave real inspiration to hang in there, no matter tough things are for you today.  If you want to hear the message go to the Eldad Elim Church website and click on the message list on the home page, or to download it go to the resources page and click on teaching.  Whether you do that or not, may her story inspire you to keep on hoping.  'Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him who is the help of my sad countenance'.

To Say Prayers or to Pray?

There is a real hooha going on in Guernsey since an atheistic member of the island's government raised an objection to the recital of the Lord's Prayer at the start of sessions in our legislature.  In doing so, of course, he is typically trying to jump onto a rolling bandwagon, since last week a UK court declared it to be unlawful for Bideford Council to begin its sessions with prayer.  We have an election coming up in Guernsey and some Deputies will do anything to get their name in the media!

But does our atheist elected representative have a point?  In the States of Deliberation here, the Lord's Prayer is recited in French (no longer the native language of this community) and at such a rate as to render it fairly difficult to keep up.  Jesus criticised leaders in his community for perfunctory prayers which he described as 'vain repetitions' and which clearly did not express the deepest longings of their hearts!  In fact, the gospels reveal Jesus as a man of prayer, yet record him being scathing of public prayers and ritual.  Should, therefore, the committed Christian join hands with the atheist to decry this anachronism?  What do you think?

Perhaps those States members who want to pray, and who believe that prayer can make a difference, should attend the monthly prayer breakfast for States' members held in a local hotel on the first morning of each monthly session?  Or, if there is a desire to pray in the debating chamber, maybe it would be better to ask someone who does have faith to pray a short prayer from the heart at the start of business, rather like the opening moments of the Grammy Awards last week in Los Angeles.  If that feels uncomfortable for the majority it may be that the present arrangement offers a nod in the direction of tradition and history.  But a nod is probably only as good as a wink - and we all know how insincere that can be!

Second Chance Scenario

My mind was clawing its way slowly back to clarity.  I knew that I was in hospital and that I was desperately ill.  It was February, a few years ago, and I had been to the brink.  Among my early conscious moments after a long period of deep coma I heard two nurses talking.  They were asking each other if either of them had received any Valentine Day cards.  Gradually I caught on, and realised that I had missed this annual opportunity to tell Diane how much she means to me.  I do tell her that every day, of course, but weeks of hospitalisation had robbed us of the daily hugs and reassurance that are part of the paintwork of our marriage.  So I dreamed up a solution.  When my friend Bob came to see me I asked him to buy a rose for Diane and send it to her as if it had come from me.  The only problem was that I couldn't speak.  I tried to write down my instructions and thought I had done so clearly, but years later he showed me the card on which I had scrawled a meaningless array of scratches and lines.  But, he twigged it and realised what I was asking him to do for me.

When Diane received a single red rose later that day she was moved to tears.  I had hardly spoken to her for weeks and was still lying in ICU full of wires and monitors.  'To my darling Diane, from your loving husband' my friend Bob had written.  Through her tears and sobs, she tells me, my wife began to hope that I might come back again from the valley of the shadow of death.  And I did.  God was so gracious to us.  He gave us back to one another  and allowed us to share again in a relationship that has been so special since the very first day we saw one another, February 29th 1968 - leap year day.

So - you can imagine how special Valentine's Day is to us each year.  A simple single red rose tells us both that we serve the God of the Second Chance!  Each year we look at that little flower and remember the One who says 'I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten!'  This year more than ever, we are so grateful for that understanding.

Makeover Over!

The building in which the St Peter Port Elim Church meets in Guernsey has completed its makeover and the scaffolding has finally disappeared.  So, the place is ready for a new lease of life, and a new influx of people meeting Jesus!
Bring it on, Lord!

Eldad Elim Church

The Fruitless Pursuit of Perfection

How are your New Year's resolutions doing?  Are they in tatters yet?  Perhaps not.  Maybe your new found self-discipline is lasting well, but please spare a thought for the rest of us and keep quiet about it!  Both Diane and I would like to lose half a stone each in weight before our son's wedding in May - but hey - in the light of all we have been through it doesn't really matter, does it?  Diane says 'there is hope for any woman who can stand in front of her mirror and laugh at what she sees!'  I think the same is true for men too.  Being at ease in your own skin is such a healthy place to be.  Mind you, I still want to lose that paunch!

Liz Jones, diarist and fashion writer for the Mail on Sunday, took a look back at her diaries since 1978 in last Sunday's YOU magazine.  She noted the same resolutions in many of them.  'Jog, Ex-foliate, Tan, Pluck' she wrote time and again.  'That just about sums up my life.  An endless, ultimately fruitless, pursuit of perfection.'  If that describes you, then I feel for you and for Liz, but surely life is more than that?  What we are in the body is not all that we are.  Whatever size we may be or however ugly we feel, we are made in the image of God and He delights in doing us good.  The greatest good is the experience of acceptance and peace that comes from finding His forgiveness and the inner beauty of a life transformed by His love.

Liz went on to say that in 2012 her list has become 'Filler, IPL, Botox, Teeth Steam, Full set of Lashes, Airbrush Tan, Hair Dye, Brazilian (must be to do with coffee!!), and Gel Pedicure.'  Now that's an expensive pursuit of perfection if ever I saw one.

Happy Birthday to a Great Lady!

What a day and a weekend it has been!  Diane has celebrated her 60th birthday in style.  Last Saturday evening she thought she was going to a quiet family meal out with Matthew, our son, and Sarah his fiancée.  As they welcomed us into the hotel they led Diane through a curtain to where they said their 'table' was.  Behind that curtain 35 relatives and friends lay in wait to greet her with cries of 'happy birthday' and 'surprise!!'  It certainly was a surprise.  Diane and I have never had a secret (except one other - remind me to tell you about it some time) so she turned to me with an exclamation that could have been mouthed by Hattie Jacques in the sixties sitcom 'Eric Sykes' - 'Oh Eric!'  I wondered if I would be spending the night in the shed.  It was very cold that night so I hoped not, and as it turned out all was well!  She was delighted and blessed by so many people who are dear to us both and we spent a wonderful evening just being grateful that we are both still alive!

Today (the 17th Jan) is her actual birthday and so the house is full of flowers, cards, balloons and gifts.  Some very dear friends, knowing her love of all things homely and made of china, gave her this tea set in which each piece is labelled 'joy' 'hope' or 'peace'.  Others have clubbed together to give her a travel voucher, so I don't know where she will end up!  All in all a tremendous experience and a great start to a new decade.

Our forties were really hard, marred by my serious ill health.  Our fifties were just as tough as we laboured together through over 60 hospital admissions and countless operations.  Boy are we looking forward to our sixties!  (You realise, of course, that I married an older woman - but not by much!).

Happy Birthday wonderful lady!

Independent or Free?

I am half Scottish - my late Mum was a Glaswegian.  They say that a Scotsman is a wit, so I am not sure what that makes me!  As a boy growing up in Guernsey I was very proud of my Mum's tartan and all things Scottish.  Hogmanae - what they call New Year north of the border - was always a great time in our family, with Mum making all kinds of efforts to have only a dark haired person crossing the threshold first in the new year - 'first footing' as she called it.  I would never do because my locks were pale, but I could substitute for the real thing as long as I carried in my hand a piece of coal!  Ah, halcyon days of pipers, drums, Scotch pies and Irn Bru (made from real Scottish girders of course).

What my Mother would have made of all this talk of independence if she was still alive I don't know.  Mum reckoned that the UK government was really run by Scots anyhow, and that Scottish oil from the North Sea paid all the bills in London already.  She would have wanted to be able to vote in any referendum on separation from the UK but I don't think she would have voted 'yes' - but I may be doing her a injustice.  You see, my Mum loved the Queen and anything to do with the monarchy.  She would have no time at all for the idea of an independent Scotland under a president, not even an elected one.  Maybe she would have tolerated an idea similar to that which obtains here in Guernsey where the government is independent of Westminster but loyal to the Crown.  Sadly, I can't ask her now.

Independence is the great longing that accompanies democracy, prosperity and development.  We see it manifest all around the world from Latvia to South Sudan.  Yet in some ways the developed world is less free and independent than it has ever been.  Great blocks of nations like the EU and OAU are letting go of huge areas of their sovereignty to have the benefits of belonging to something larger. In an increasingly troubled world we need one another. For me, that's one of the biggest reasons why I seek to be part of a local church, which in turn relates to a wider family of churches.  As one of Scotland's most famous sons, John Donne, said after all, 'no man is an island entire of itself'.

For the Christian, our loyalty to our monarch, Jesus Christ, means that we surrender our independence to Him, in whom we then find real freedom.  The great Scottish theologian and preacher George Mathesan, also born in Glasgow, expressed it this way...

Make me a captive, Lord, 
and then I shall be free. 
Force me to render up my sword, 
and I shall conqueror be. 
I sink in life's alarms 
when by myself I stand; 
imprison me within thine arms, 
and strong shall be my hand. 

My will is not my own 
till thou hast made it thine; 
if it would reach a monarch's throne, 
it must its crown resign. 
It only stands unbent 
amid the clashing strife, 
when on thy bosom it has leant, 
and found in thee its life. 

Fatter but not Fitter

Wow - was I ever that thin?  Diane hasn't changed a bit, of course, but did they feed students at Elim Bible College in the early 1970's?  I think not.

One of the joys of my recovery from the awful pain of chronic pancreatitis is that I can now eat without agony. Great when you are celebrating Christmas but not so great when New Year comes.  Now I definitely feel the pinch as my belt asks 'are you sure about this?' and there is a lot less view of my feet than there used to be. I reckon I am not alone in this.  The millions spent on the Weight Watchers' advert on UK TV testify to the commonality of this problem.  We are all getting fatter - well many of us are - but are we getting any fitter?  The difference is down to an increase in the weight of accumulated fat and fluid as against the weight of muscle tissue.  The former makes flab whilst the latter is 'fab' (still thinking 1970's!).

Then, how about my faith?  Is it flabby and tired or growing in effective muscle-weight?  What causes muscle growth in the Kingdom of Heaven?  Well, I suppose, much the same as in every other human realm.  Exercise and diet, all part of a healthy lifestyle.  Wait a minute though, exercise hurts.  It only does your muscles any good, apparently, if it does hurt.  Maybe that's why the experiences we go through that cause us to grow spiritually are all the painful ones?  Diet is all a matter of self-control.  No easy answers there then, no matter what the adverts promise us.  So maybe a good diet for my faith requires similar self-control: taking care about what I watch, what I read and who I mix with.  Mmm.

I think churches need to ask similar questions.  Are we getting fatter or fitter?  If congregations grow at the expense of other surrounding churches then they may just be getting fat!  What they need is more muscle-weight.  People of robust faith exercising it more!  And doing so in an atmosphere of love and grace.

So - what about you this New Year?  Fatter or fitter?

No Vacancies

If Mary and Joseph were to arrive in Bethlehem today having travelled from Nazareth they would have found an even bigger problem than they did then. It's very difficult to get in!  Just as 'David's Town' is playing host to huge crowds of international visitors, the people of Bethlehem themselves, many of them Christians, are struggling under the restrictions being placed upon them by the Israeli authorities.  Father Ibrahim Shomali told the Guardian newspaper this week how he thinks the 'holy couple' might fare today. "If Jesus were to come this year, Bethlehem would be closed," says the priest of Bethlehem's Beit Jala parish. "He would either have to be born at a checkpoint or at the separation wall. Mary and Joseph would have needed Israeli permission – or to have been tourists."  Bethlehem is no longer the place we imagine it to be.  Welcome to the real world of the 21st Century Middle East!

But then, this would not be the shock to them that Father Ibrahim imagines.  There was already a 'no vacancies' sign where the young couple wanted to stay.  Luke's gospel calls it 'the Inn' and says that for the lady bearing the Son of God there was no room.  In the original language of the gospel the word translates better as 'guest-chamber' and probably describes that part of the upstairs family accommodation in a typical two-storey dwelling of the period.  Family and guests were upstairs, animals and their mangers were downstairs.  So, maybe Joseph went to his own family relations expecting to be housed there and was refused.  His only option was to place his little family down among the animals where God's Son and his step-son could be born in warmer conditions than outside on the street.  Bethlehem behaves the same then, in 1st and 21st Centuries!

What about my home?  How warm is the welcome in my heart for the Son of God this Christmas?  Is there room for my family - all cosy around a fire - but Jesus finds his place in some draughty church building or even out on the street?  Perhaps the real lesson of the suffering residents of Bethlehem today is that the work of the Prince of Peace is now needed more than ever even in our sophisticated world.

O Little Town of Bethlehem How Sad we see Thee Lie!

Christmas Come Alive!

This was the scene in Nazareth Village last week when Matthew and I visited there as part of our special week in Israel.   We took this time out to be just 'father and son' together in advance of Matthew getting married early in 2012 and my starting work again.  It was just great to be touring such special places together.  We hired a car and a Jewish tour guide and saw some spectacular places.  This moment in Nazareth saw us in a re-enactment of a first century Jewish 'carpenter's shop' such as Joseph worked in and Jesus grew up in.  Nearby was a first century wine-press which would almost certainly have been a centre of community gatherings at times of the year for Mary, Joseph and their special son.  All of this helped to prepare us for this special season of Christmas - yet knowing Christ today is so much more important than visiting the places that he walked in 2,000 years ago.  Having said that, it adds a certain colour to our seasonal celebrations to be more able to picture the events and the atmosphere of that time.

Another very special open air place was the Garden of Gethsemane with its ancient olive trees thought by some to date back to the time of Christ.  They need protecting and preservation now after the centuries but they still gave us the opportunity to pause and reflect here on what Jesus went through in that garden, and why.  Funnily enough, prior to my first visit here I always imagined Gethsemane to be an English country garden with lawns and flower beds perfectly symmetrical in their layout with sprinklers and trimmed bushes!  Now that I have seen its stark and dry harshness again I can appreciate how much pain this place meant to Jesus and yet how significant it was to him, and is now to his followers.

Our visit to the Holy Land has given us both food for thought.  We thoroughly enjoyed each other's company and the good nature and hard work of our guide Omri.  Above all, we were grateful for the health and strength granted to me after my long battle with serious illness and the joy of doing something so different to the scores of trips made to distant hospitals in the past.

Christmas came early for me!

Tragedy in Paradise

Yesterday a huge explosion tore through the Hotel Cordial at Puerto Mogan in Gran Canaria where we stayed last June. Reports say that at least one tourist has died whilst many others are seriously hurt, together with members of staff.  My brother Andy and his wife Gill, who were married at the resort whilst we were there with them, had returned to the hotel for Gill's birthday and were shaken by the blast.  They were staying very near the block of rooms which included the sauna that was blown up in the gas fireball that engulfed it.  They saw some of the victims with nearly 100% burns and witnessed the rescue and recovery efforts that continue as I write. They are due to make their way home to Manchester tonight and we are praying for them and for all affected by the tragedy.  Andy has said that some of the victims include children and that current estimates of the number of deaths and serious injuries are likely to be exceeded.

Hotel Cordial is the most wonderful, refreshing place to stay under normal circumstances. Puerto Mogan is a lovely fishing village with marinas and is called Little Venice because of its canals and bridges. We loved our time there in the summer.  The staff are kind and thoughtful and it must grieve them so that this has taken place.  It is a reminder that even a holiday paradise is only an illusion and that the reality of human need and frailty follows us everywhere.  Let's pray for all those affected by the shock of this event, and especially for those whose loved ones lie terribly burned or have already died.

Making a New Start

Whilst we served Shiloh Church in Guernsey for some years we coined the strap-line for it - 'Helping People Make a New Start'.  I always felt it to be the best descriptive phrase about church life that I had ever come across, and now it is coming true for Diane and me too.  After more than 4 years of not being able to work because of the agony of chronic pancreatitis, and the all-too-frequent admissions to hospital near home and in London, my situation has improved dramatically.  Recently my GP started saying that he thought I might even be well enough to consider starting work again, and for Diane and myself that could only mean one thing - active Christian ministry in one capacity or another.  We just love preaching and teaching the Word of God, and mentoring and encouraging Christian leaders, while all the time sharing the good news of the love of God with folk of all faiths and of none.  This was our great desire, though the exact details seemed to elude us for a while.

For some weeks we have been praying about this, in particular the possibility of serving the Eldad Elim Church, in St Peter Port Guernsey, as its minister.  The present incumbent and my close friend John Bristow will retire in December and he and his wife Iris plan to move to New Zealand.  Through different talks and negotiations, both with Elim's National Leadership Team and the Eldad church leaders, we came to the settled conclusion that this is what we should do.  Last Sunday morning it was announced to the congregation that Diane and I will be joining them in the New Year, and we are so thrilled that we can even contemplate this.  It is a daunting challenge, but one in which we know we will be joining some wonderful people and will learn much from them.

We are so grateful  for all your love, support and prayers.  To all our friends in the Pancreatitis Supporters Network we say 'hang in there, guys - we can beat this'.  To Katie Bassett, a dear Christian friend who is our pain control specialist nurse and who arranged for my implant at Guys' hospital last February, 'God has really used you, Katie.  You were really meant to come to Guernsey'.  To so many much-loved prayer partners - Brian and Doreen, Hazel, Daphne (and the late Clarence), Jean and David, Jean P, Eileen, Peter and Dorien, Kev and Mary and so so many more - many thanks and don't stop now!  There is an encouraging verse in Revelation 3:8 where God says 'I have set before you an open door which no man can shut, and I know that your strength is limited.'  If He is leading us to this new start, then all may not be easy, but it will all be well.

A Preacher's Prayer

Some may find this a bit corny - that's ok, but I found it deeply moving. It reflects the heart of a man who wants to live for God in a challenging world. The desire to live right before God, to build committed relationships, to forgive those who sin against us - all this is expressed in this song.  The well-known and much-loved tune Finlandia was not written for these words but offers them a platform that just seems to fit so well.

When I was ordained to the work of the ministry we sang a song written by one of the pioneers of the Elim Pentecostal churches, E C W Boulton.  The words remain with me as a very similar cry from the heart as the one sung by Haase and his team.


Move me, dear Lord, and others I shall move to do Thy will;
Mould Thou this life into a vessel fair Thyself to fill;
No charm with which to draw do I possess,
In Thee I find the secret of success.


If you preach, or aspire to do so, this prayer isn't a bad place to begin.

What a Day!

It is so hard to face this fact - but on this very day, the 9th September 1972, yes, 39 long years ago, Diane and I were married.  We had absolutely no idea of the kind of exciting life we were destined to lead.  Maybe if we had, at least one of us would have pulled out before the ceremony!  The service was held in our home church at Vazon Elim in Guernsey within earshot of the nearby sand races on the beach.  The windows of the church building were open and we could hardly hear ourselves think above the roar of motor bike and racing car engines.  But I do remember these words:
'I, Eric, do take thee, Diane to be my wedded wife... I will love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, will keep myself only unto her, as long as we both shall live.'  Diane said the same to me.  We meant it.  I was at her side as she battled through 13 years of crippling anxiety and depression. Together we faced the issues that were tearing at her peace.  Together we found answers that would enable us both to receive not only wholeness, but to go on and serve God in remote corners of the world.  Not without fear, but in spite of it.

Then Diane has stayed by my side like a limpet through my 15 year battle with the appalling disease pancreatitis.  She has been there for me when I was deep in coma, acting as my advocate in hospitals around the British Isles.  She has protected me, prayed for me, believed for me when my faith was failing, waited for me, trusted with me and rejoiced with me in these early days of return from the battlefield.  I want her to have the joy of many more years without pain, but this is a partnership that will not be measured in years or even decades.

Without doubt the best part of our wedding day was flying away at the end on honeymoon.  We crossed by air to Jersey and in those days the airline used to weigh passengers on a big public scale and then assign your seating according to your weight!  As you can see, we did not have too much to be embarrassed about getting on to the scales then - but if it was now!  Well, we sat on the pier in Jersey eating chips out of the paper, in a Morris 1100 hire car with no carpets or heater, and just gazed into the distance together.  Good thing we could not glimpse what was really up ahead.  But Jesus did, and He chose us for each other. We are so grateful that He did.

Peace, be Still!

I have just spent three days of study break at the beautiful new Elim International Centre at Malvern in the UK.  Here my old college has been established after its move from Nantwich in Cheshire and the new facilities are terrific.  It was so inspiring to be able to spend significant time in reading, prayer and reflection.  Walking up the Malvern Hills, in the armpit of which sits the new Centre, was a special joy.  Don't you just feel that there is something unique about high places?  I do, and as I gazed out over hundreds of square miles of glorious English countryside, I felt inspired enough to start writing poetry!  Now that's a first for me!

Being quiet and still are vital ingredients in catching the whisper of God.  I have found it challenging to hear from the Lord during my long battle with pain as agony shouts louder than any competitor.  It has sometimes been a real act of discipline to sit and be still in the presence of God when my body has been wracked with pain and my mind clouded by opiates.  Now in the aftermath of such wonderful improvement as I have known this year I felt like I had met with an old friend after a long period of being in touch only from a distance.

The most moving part of my dialogue with heaven this week was the flow of repeated assurances in both Bible readings and the whispers in my heart that God's love for me has not diminished.  He also seemed to be saying that this is a new season - 'after the storm' - and that the day of fulfillment of so many promises is upon us. If that is so, then thank God for that!  All I know is that God seems to come close to us when we can make the space and the time to be still, focused and alone.  Try it some time!

Headline News

I was listening to the morning radio news here in Guernsey.   Now I know that this is the time of the year that the news hacks call 'the silly season' - mid summer in Britain - but I was unprepared for the shock of the main story but one. 'Outrage as dog attacks small bird on the beach!'  In this small community we get a daily local newspaper which is eagerly read from cover to cover in the majority of homes.  We are used to being regaled with lurid reports such as 'Boy falls from bike: taken to A & E'.  Don't think for a moment that I minimise the potential danger of falling from bicycles as one poor man did just that over here recently and died as a result.   No, it's just the quaintness I suppose of a community where thankfully major crime is rare and small things become newsworthy.

By the way - the dog was being very naughty - and the owner was negligent as there were warning signs nearby.  The bird was no ordinary one either - it was a young Oyster Catcher.  So, the plot thickens.  The headline didn't quite say it all - but it still brings a smile to my lips when I remember that there are places where even the murder of human beings hardly makes news.

And then I thought about a headline from two millennia ago. 'Sale Price of Sparrows Hits an All Time Low - Two Sold for a Penny'.  Nothing unusual there you might say.  But it's the next bit that grabbed my attention.  'Yet not one of them falls to the ground without God knowing it - and allowing it' (my paraphrase of Matthew 10:29).  So maybe the headline writer at BBC Guernsey was right.  It is news that a small bird was killed on the beach near here, at least to Almighty God!

When I think about that I take heart.  For the very same passage in the Gospel goes on to say that even the very hairs on my head are numbered - and that in God's eyes I am of more value than many sparrows. And so are you.  And yes - I will keep my dog on a leash when there are birds about - you never know Who is watching!